Fellow blogger
The Pub Curmudgeon wrote a post a week or so ago,
regarding what to do when food in a pub or restaurant isn’t quite up to scratch.
The gist of the post was that it is often far easier to return an off-pint of
beer than it is food; even when the latter is obviously not right. Blogger
Ed
Wray commented that it could be unwise to return food, owing to the risk of
kitchen staff spitting on, or in it, before they bring it back to you. I backed
up this concern with some horrendous stories of kitchen staff exacting their revenge in
even more grotesque ways. These actions were recounted to me by a work
colleague whose wife used to work in a restaurant.
Leaving these particularly unpleasant stories to one side
for a while, Curmudgeon went on to recount how he’d had to return food in
various pubs when things weren’t to his liking. He admitted to being a fussy
eater; something which I certainly am not. With one or two exceptions, I will
eat most things, but the article did prompt me to think back to a couple of
occasions where I had cause to either return my food, or had ended up leaving
most of it on the plate.
Fortunately these instances have been quite rare, but oddly
enough they both took place last year. The first "food fail" happened just over a
year ago, whilst on a CAMRA bus trip in which we visited a few pubs in the
Edenbridge area. I haven’t named the pub where the event took place; especially
as it was over a year ago. If you are desperate to know which one it was though,
I suggest you take a look back to a post I made last February.
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Not as good as it looks |
To recap we stopped for lunch at a pub in
Edenbridge itself,
where unfortunately the liver and bacon I ordered was definitely not up to
scratch. Not only was the bacon tough chewy and rather fatty, but the liver was
undercooked; in-fact it still looked bloody in the middle. Needless to say I
didn’t eat it, but I brought it to the attention of the bar staff who weren’t at
all sure what to do about it.
It turned out that the licensees were away, and I suspect
that had they been present this incident would either not have occurred, or it
would have been rectified to the satisfaction of both parties. For my part, I
haven’t been back to the pub, and if I do return I will definitely not be
eating there.
The other incident, where I was unable to eat what was put
in front of me, was in no way the fault of the restaurant concerned; but rather
my not liking the manner in which the food has been prepared. This particular
"food
fail" occurred last August on the evening of the first day of the
European
Beer Bloggers & Writers Conference in Brussels.
It took place in the
sumptuous surroundings of the
Belga Queen, which is one of
the
Belgian capital’s finest restaurants.
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Posh plates |
Our hosts for the evening were the
Belgium Family Brewers; the elite sponsors of the conference, so after
the day’s proceedings had finished we all walked the short distance from the
conference hotel to the
Belga Queen. Here we were to enjoy a three-course
dinner, with an impressive selection of Belgian beers to accompany, in the
opulent surroundings of this renowned restaurant.
Now this was all happening courtesy of the Belgium Family
Brewers, so it seems rather churlish of me to criticise. The meal was a set
course, although had I known what was going to be served up I would have gone
for the vegetarian option! Roast rack of veal, was the main course – bloody,
fatty and far too underdone, for my liking. Unfortunately for me, this is how the Belgians
like their meat! As stated earlier, I am not a fussy eater, but I am not a fan
of meat which is rare, bloody or otherwise undercooked. Leaving health issues
aside, I find rare meat more an exercise in chewing than enjoyment, and fail
totally to see the attraction.
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Posh nosh - rather too rare for my liking |
I ended up leaving most of the barely-cooked veal, but the
potatoes, vegetables and gravy were good, and were sufficient to
“fill a hole”.
I wasn’t overly concerned, especially as someone else was picking up the tab,
and by way of compensation, the company at my table was very good; as was the
conversation. In addition, the
Belgian beers presented to us were all top-notch
and helped increase our appreciation, enjoyment and knowledge of the country’s
brewing traditions. We later moved on to the nearby
Delirium Bar, where yet
more strong beer was consumed.
It seemed however, that I was not alone in my distain of the
main dish, as on the walk back to the hotel, I joined several other delegates
in popping into a nearby kebab shop for some chips. Posh nosh is not always
what it’s cracked up to be, and when you’ve had a belly full of beer you need
some real “comfort food” to help soak it up!
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A typical Japanese meal |
I had some rather strange and exotic food placed in front of
me on a business trip I made to
Japan,
back in 2013, but with the exception of the
raw octopus, I managed to eat
virtually everything which our hosts offered. The saving grace with
Japanese
meals is that a range of several dishes are presented to the diner, and you then help
yourself; in theory to a portion of everything, but in practice just those
items you think will be the most satisfying and least off-putting! The other
saving grace is that copious amounts of beer are normally served at mealtimes. This
certainly helps wash down food which might not quite be to your tastes, as well
as helping to cleanse the palate and mask strong or unfamiliar flavours.
I have digressed somewhat from the question of whether or
not to return food which isn’t to one’s liking. As mentioned earlier, my
colleague’s wife worked in several restaurant kitchens, and had some horrendous
tales to tell about what happened to customers foolish enough to return their
food.
As I am sure you can imagine, many chefs have vastly
over-inflated egos; just think of certain so-called “celebrity chefs" and you
will know what I mean. They tend to take any criticism of their cooking, however well
intended, as a personal affront. My kitchen informant recounted horror stories of bogies being
mixed into food which had been sent back, as well as spit, but the worst one
involved a returned steak. This was unceremoniously wiped around the inside of
the toilet pan before being returned to the unfortunate and clueless customer.
I would like to think that most kitchen staff wouldn’t dream
of acting in such a disgusting, and potentially heath-threatening manner; if
they did, then they should never be allowed to work in catering again. But as
it is difficult to know what exactly goes on behind the closed doors of a pub
restaurant or kitchen, and hard to predict just how widespread such practices
are, I would ere on the side of caution. So if you are served with a meal which
isn’t quite right, don’t be too hasty in sending it back.
You may be better off just leaving the food, but if you feel
sufficiently strongly about its poor quality, bring it to the pub or restaurant
management’s attention. At the very least you should be entitled to a reduction
in your bill. In the light of what I have described above, be wary of offers of
vouchers or a free meal next time, as you may find the staff remember you, and
not in a nice way!
However, most people out for a meal are not looking for confrontation,
especially as this can further sour what should be an enjoyable occasion. If
this is the case you may just prefer to never eat in that place again. Spread
the word amongst your friends and family, if you feel that put out by your experience.
It’s a tricky thing, as we Brits don’t like to complain and
cause a fuss, but if we wish to see high standards maintained in our pubs and
restaurants, we really should say something; even if it is after the event.