Fancy a lunchtime pint on a Monday? It's a lot more difficult than you think!

I should have known better than to go looking for a pub on a Monday, but no. Instead, buoyed up with my new-found sense of freedom resulting from switching to a three-day working week, off I went yesterday morning, expectations high and spurred on by the fact that for the first time in my working life, I no longer had to turn up for work on a Monday.

A wiser man would have taken note of more experienced people, such as veteran pub-tickers like Duncan, Martin, and Simon. Instead, I found out the hard way, that post-pandemic, not many pubs open their doors at the start of the week. So, what happened, and why having left the house mid-morning, did I return mid-afternoon without a drop of beer having passed my lips?

As I say, the day started full of promise and after catching up on some admin stuff, I checked my Arriva bus App, and discovered there was a bus leaving from the top of my road in 10 minutes time. Without further ado I said farewell to Mrs PBT’s, and walked off to the bus stop, my destination the Swan-on-the-Green at West Peckham.

I’d done my homework, or so I thought, and had checked that the Swan would actually be open on a Monday lunchtime. The buses too ran on time and connected like clockwork, so after a pleasant journey, sat on the upper deck of the No.7 service towards Maidstone, I alighted at the small village of Mereworth, and set off to walk the mile or so to the tiny hamlet of West Peckham.

The little-used road was quite safe to walk along, and after the earlier, heavy rain, the sun was now shining. The temperature was on the mild side, and the countryside a joy to behold, and I approached my goal with a spring in my step. What could possibly go wrong?  The answer came a short distance ahead where, just after the road leading into West Peckham branches off, I could see a set of traffic lights. It seemed a strange place to have traffic control measures in place, so I pressed ahead, pausing briefly to pass the time of day with one of the contractors. 

We exchanged a few pleasantries, and I mentioned how much I was looking forward to having a pint at the pub. “Not today, you won’t,” the man said, "the pub is closed." I replied that I'd checked earlier, online, so why wasn't the pub open? I was informed that filming for a TV series was taking place in the pub, and also in a nearby building. The pub would be opening at 7pm, and the same restrictions would apply on both Tuesday and Wednesday.

I’m not going to say any more here, as the filming and the associated alterations to the pub and the surrounding buildings, are worth a short post on their own. Instead, unable to get a drink, I retraced my footsteps back to Mereworth, timing things just right to catch the bus back to Tonbridge.

Once onboard, I looked at my phone, frantically searching for a pub that might be open, somewhere on the return journey. I had noticed a large chalkboard outside the Two Brewers in Hadlow, proclaiming the pub was open, but it didn’t look very open from the top deck of the bus. The Two Brewers is a Harvey’s tied pub, so the thought of a pint of their Old Ale was rather appealing.

Alas, Google indicated that the pub is closed all day Mondays – why leave the open sign out, then? So, after toying with the idea of the Rose Revived, just outside Hadlow and then deciding against it, I remained on the bus until we reached Tonbridge. The Rose is a pleasant enough pub, although rather food-oriented, but the main problem was trying to key in information onto my phone, whilst the bus was rocking about.

Next time I will research “plan B” options well in advance, especially after arriving back in Tonbridge and finding that the Ivy House and Fuggles were both closed. Re-checking my phone after alighting from the bus, I discovered the Beer Seller was also closed, at least until 4pm, but the Nelson Arms opened at 3pm. A result!

I had some shopping to do, and also needed to call in at the building society – a rare treat, although I notice they have now recommenced opening on Saturday mornings.  There was also the question of something to eat. Popping into Greggs and picking up a ham salad roll, I made my way to the counter and ordered a flat white, to drink in. “Sorry,” said the girl behind the counter, “we are closing early today.”

Monday was definitely turning out not to be my day, but with the rain holding off, I took my roll and coffee along to the River Walk, and sat on a bench, looking out across the river towards Tonbridge’s imposing medieval castle. I was just losing myself in the moment, when one of the local “nutters” decided he’d sit down and join me. It wasn’t much of a conversation, and the poor chap was obviously lonely, but sometimes you just crave your own company, and that time was one of them.

My legs were starting to ache as I made my way passed the edge of the Sportsground, towards the Nelson Arms, but I was buoyed up by the thought of a pint.  Imagine my horror then at discovering that the pub doesn’t open until 4pm; a fact I would have known had I checked the pub’s own website, rather than relying on Google!

I caught the bus homewards. It was only three stops, but I had already exceeded my 10,000 steps and was glad of my free bus pass. When I arrived home, I recanted the afternoon’s activities to Mrs PBT’s, as we sat down and enjoyed a cup of coffee together. She was as bemused as I was, but both ended up laughing that the first Monday in over 40 years, when I am not required to go into work, should have ended up as a completely dry day!

I enjoyed it nevertheless, even though I nearly ended up as an extra in a period drama. As for all the closed pubs, I obviously should have known better, and carried out my research a lot more thoroughly!