A Pint of Plain is Your Only Man.*

Here’s a more light-hearted post than some of my more recent ones have been.

I was looking through my beer stocks the other day, and amongst the goodies left over from Christmas are a sizeable number of Fuller’s London Porter bottles. I remember taking full advantage of the pre-Christmas offers in both Sainsbury’s and Waitrose where the beer was retailing at three bottles for £5.

I obviously bought more than I thought, but given the cold outside temperatures at present, this is no bad thing. The beer is drinking exceptionally well at the moment, so much so that whilst in our local Sainsbury’s last night, I noticed the offer is being repeated.

I couldn’t resist grabbing another three bottles, even though I had popped into the store for some completely un-related and non-beery items.  Got to grab these bargains while you can, and all that!

 *A pint of plain is your only man" - from the poem "The Workman's Friend", by Flann O'Brien.

Black IPA - Innovative Beer Style or Oxymoron?

M&S Special

I have always been uneasy with both the term and style of Black IPA; a misnomer if ever there was one, and an oxymoron to boot! How can a beer which, according to its name, should be pale at the same time also be black?

Well obviously it can’t, and I think those brewers across the pond, who first came up with this idea back in 2011, have done the world of beer a grave disservice. Black IPA can rightly be described as a gimmick and a definite example of “style over substance”. But hey, wait a minute; no such style exists so let’s invent one.

Now you can just imagine the scene, it’s late at night and a few “over-refreshed” American craft-brewers are sitting in a bar, and quite naturally are discussing beer. Nothing wrong so far, but as the night draws on and the beer continues to flow, our brewers move on to comparing how many different styles of beers they’ve tried, and how this compares with their own portfolios.

One of them mentions the Great American Beer Festival and the 90 odd different styles which are used to categorise, and then judge, beers exhibited at the festival. One brewer then brings the GABF site up on his phone/tablet and they run through the various styles, and sub-styles of beer. Virtually every type of beer imaginable is covered, but wait, one brewer has an idea and after several moments of beer-fuelled discussion they decide to come up with a completely new style.

 

“Be good for business”, says one member of the company. “One in the eye for those stuck-up sticky-beaks running the show”, says another. And so you can see how, without too much imagination, the concept of Black IPA was born. So one brewery’s off-beat idea, conceived in a moment of over-indulgence, is soon copied by other breweries and before long the whole thing snowballs.

It doesn’t take long for the concept to cross the Atlantic, and before you know it, breweries in the UK are falling over themselves to rush out their own Black IPA, and trendy beer-writers are trying to outdo each other by singing its praises. Not one of them has bothered to pause for thought and think, this really is nonsense”. However, it is much more than nonsense, and a classic example of the story of  “The Emperor’s New Clothes”.

I’ve tasted a few Black IPA’s and quite frankly they all disappoint. At best they taste like an overly-hopped porter, whilst at worst they resemble nothing more than a stout; and a poor one at that! Here are some notes I made after sampling a couple of different bottles of Black IPA, which I was given for Christmas.

Meantime Greenwich Black IPA 5.7% - This is a beer brewed exclusively for Marks & Spencer. Described on the label as “A rich caramel Black IPA inspired by American craft-beers”, it does what it says on the tin. Not unpleasant at all, but still rather confusing. A good beer, as might be expected from Meantime, and packed full of flavour, but I would have preferred to see it labelled as a porter or a stout.

Collaboration brew from Oddbins

AleChemy Brewing Co & Oddbins No. 3 Black IPA 5.0% - another Black IPA, this time a collaboration brew between AleChemy of Livingston of West Lothian & Oddbins (the off-licence people).

Unpleasantly bitter and harsh-tasting to my palate; probably from the over-use of roasted barley. Jet black in colour, with a thin, pale-yellow head. Not much more I can say about this beer, apart from an unusual and slightly sinister-looking label. Oh, I nearly forgot to add, I won’t be buying it again!

These experiences, combined with those from tasting cask Black IPA in pubs, have been enough to put me off this totally contrived style for life. I doubt whether I am alone in this.

Footnote: take a look at the Great American Beer Festival site here, and the list of beer styles recognised by the organisation. You will find no mention of Black IPA.

Should Have Gone to Specsavers!

This is the second time now that I’ve made the same silly mistake! Earlier this evening I selected a bottle of what I presumed to be Fuller’s London Porter from the rather dark cupboard under the stairs. This is a good place to keep beer, as it remains at a fairly constant temperature, and is of course nice and dark.

I placed the aforementioned bottle out on the back door step, to allow the contents to cool for a time. Then a short while ago, I brought the nicely chilled bottle in doors, cracked the bottle open and began pouring it into my glass. I raised the glass to my lips, only to realise I had not picked a bottle of Porter at all; instead I had selected a bottle of Golden Pride, 8.5% ABV; definitely not the type of beer I want to be drinking when there’s work in the morning!

The trouble is the labels look very similar, and the colour of the strap label around the neck is almost identical. My own silly fault, of course, as I should have been paying more attention, and like I alluded to above, this is not the first time that I’ve made this mistake. The first time was during the Christmas break, when having a bottle of strong ale to get through wasn’t exactly an arduous or unpleasant task. Even so, I consumed the bottle over two days; re-sealing the crown cork as best I could, and keeping the bottle in the fridge.

I’ve attempted to do the same this time, but I could do with one of those hand-held crimpers which home-brew shops used to sell, in order to do the job properly. Unfortunately I’ve now got nothing suitably chilled to take the place of the Golden Pride, so I think a cup of coffee followed by an early night will have to suffice.

 

Footnote: the bottle of Golden Pride is back-lit in the photo, giving it a much lighter appearance than when viewed under normal light. Side by side, the Porter and the Golden Pride really do look very similar!

Which Way the Road to Damascus?

An article which appears in the most recent edition of CAMRA’s “What’s Brewing” newspaper raises concerns about the growing gulf between an increasingly aged, active membership and the new, young, “hipsters” of the craft beer movement.

Written by a long-standing CAMRA activist, the author uses examples from his own branch to illustrate the problem. It appears that despite membership numbers being at a record level, the number of active members within the branch is declining year on year, making it increasingly difficult to fill committee posts and leading to problems with the day to day functioning of the branch.

West Kent CAMRA members 30 years ago

This situation is reflected in my own, West Kent branch, where none of the principle officers are younger than their mid 50’s. The same applies to the handful of active members we now see. Committee posts are increasingly hard to fill; so much so that one poor chap is covering the positions of both Membership and Social Secretary.

These sorts of situations are untenable; not only in the medium term, but increasingly in the short term as well, but no-one seems to have an answer. The correspondent in “What’s Brewing” makes the point that CAMRA is in danger of becoming a two-tier organisation; one which has sway with government, and able to influence policy on beer and pubs, but at the same time is far less capable of making an impact locally.

I’m sure there are branches which can demonstrate this is not the case, but for branches like mine, what is the way forward? When I first joined the Campaign for Real Ale, as a young student, over 40 years ago, it was by and large a young person’s organisation. This may not have been apparent at the time, but looking back at photos of those early days, in particular those of marches held to protest against various brewery closures, shows this to be the case.

West Kent CAMRA members 3 years ago

Today, CAMRA’s membership is predominantly, but not exclusively, late middle-aged and male, and the fact that the old guard, including myself, is not getting any younger is proved by the obituaries which appear on a regular basis in the pages of  “What’s Brewing”.

The article in “What’s Brewing” makes a plea for the campaign to engage far more with the predominantly young people involved in the flourishing craft beer scene. This is a sentiment I wholly agree with, and I know many of my West Kent colleagues feel the same. However, there are also many within CAMRA for whom craft beer, and especially “Craft Keg” is a total anathema. This is a view shared by those in charge of the organisation; at least publicly. Privately they might well admit there are hundreds, if not thousands of excellent “non-real” beers produced both at home and abroad, but because CAMRA has boxed itself into a corner by its narrow definition of “Real Ale”, they are unable to come out in support of these beers.

The new generation of young beer enthusiasts have no such restrictions, and base their judgement of a beer on what it tastes like in the glass, rather than on an out-dated and increasingly irrelevant definition based on post-brewing processing and dispense. This unfortunately means CAMRA will be seen as increasingly irrelevant by younger drinkers, to whom no such constraints apply.

 

So will it be a case of never the twain shall meet? I sincerely hope not, but unless CAMRA is prepared to undergo a seismic shift in policy; a “Road to Damascus” experience, then I’m afraid that as the old guard depart their watch, and with no new blood coming along to replace them, the campaign will literally whither on the vine; or should that be hop-bine?

TJ's Sells Out

Disappointment was the order of the day following the beer selling out early at this weekend’s Winter Beer Festival, held at Tonbridge Juddian’s Rugby Club.

We sort of knew the event was going to be popular; coinciding as it did with the start of the Six Nation’s Rugby Competition, so for this reason most of us avoided the opening session on Friday evening. As the club were screening the opening game of the contest, featuring Wales versus England, it seemed wise to wait until the following day to get along and sample the beers. My wife’s niece and her partner had gone along on the Friday and had sent a message via Social Media that the club-house was absolutely rammed; so much so that it was difficult to move around and that it was standing room only.

Considering I had made a wise decision not to go along for the opening night, I set off from home shortly after 4pm, looking forward to sampling a few of the 24 ales on offer; the majority sourced locally from Kent and Sussex breweries.  I walked along the riverside path beneath the walls of Tonbridge’s historic 12^th Century castle, and made my way past the swimming pool to the TJ’s clubhouse. As I approached I thought I recognised the figure coming towards me as friend and fellow CAMRA member, Jon. When he told me that most of the beers had run out and that the place was absolutely heaving, I thought he was joking.

He wasn’t though, as he had just come from the clubhouse. He suggested that I pop in and take a look for myself. On doing so one of the women on the door explained there was only around five or six beers still on, and that these were likely to run out soon. The organisers were putting a further three casks on sale at the clubhouse bar, so suggested I go in for a quick look first, before deciding to purchase a “starter pack” (glass plus tokens).

A much more relaxed festival at TJ's back in 2013

I forced my way inside, but there were so many people present that I was virtually impossible to get near the bar, or to see what, if anything was available on the stillages at the front of the clubhouse. I gave the whole thing up as a bad idea, but on my way out I bumped into Jon again. He was aware that Nigel, another friend of ours was in the clubhouse and he asked if I had seen him. Well given the number of people inside my reply was “No”, so after leaving a message for him on “WhatsApp”, we headed off in the direction of our local Wetherspoons for a much needed beer.

The Humphrey Bean was busy, but not too crowded and after ordering our beers, we managed to find a table. Jon went for Birra Armada a 4.8% Spanish Craft Beer brewed in collaboration with Adnams at their Southwold Brewery. I went for a pint of  Turner’s American Pale Ale, which was very good. We hadn’t been there that long before we were joined by Nigel. He explained that having bought £10 worth of tokens at TJ’s, he wanted to use them up before joining us in Spoons. He mentioned a very nice Oatmeal Stout from 360˚ Brewery, and had also managed  to sample the new Pale Ale from local heroes, Larkin’s.

The Bean also had a presentation of Rockin’ Robin beers on the bar, with three of the brewery’s beers on sale. Both Jon and Nigel went for one, but for my next pint I opted for the Spanish beer which Jon had been drinking earlier. I can’t say I’m a fan of Rockin’ Robin beers, despite having met the brewery’s gregarious and larger than life founder, Robin Smallbone. Robin readily admits he has stuck with the tried and tested malt-driven, “brown bitter” format, rather than going down the strong pale ale, bittered with New World, citrus-like hops style which has been very much in vogue over the last few years, and his decision has obviously struck a chord with local drinkers. Good luck to him for going against the trend and sticking to what he does best!

A third pint was called for, along with a bite to eat. The 6.0% ABV Rogue Brutal IPA, another collaboration brew from Adnams, hit the mark, as did the pulled-pork sandwich I ordered. Nigel departed; he had promised his wife he would pick up some shopping on the way home. Jon had the best part of an hour to kill before his train home, so we decide to head up towards the station and call in at the Punch & Judy.

This suited me as well as the P & J  is on my way home. The pub was pleasantly busy and had a welcoming log fire blazing away. On the bar were Harvey’s Best, Tonbridge Alsace Gold, plus a beer from Wychwood whose name escapes me. Jon went for the latter, whilst I opted for the Alsace Gold, which was in fine form. There was just time for another swift half before Jon left to catch his train. I wandered back up the hill towards my house and surprised my family with my early arrival. They had obviously been expecting me back home a lot later.

It was obviously a shame about the TJ’s festival; good for the club, but not so good for all us thirsty local punters. For those interested in what brews were available, here is a list of the 24 beers.

The Other Weekend's Bus Trip

Our bus trip the other weekend, out to a few of the more outlying pubs in our area, proved to be something of a mixed bag. I am referring to the social organised by West Kent CAMRA to Edenbridge; a small town situated at the far western extreme of Kent and close to the border with Surrey.

The first pub on our itinerary was the GBG listed Old Eden; an attractive 16th Century building sited right on the banks of the River Eden. For reasons I've never been able to put my finger on, the Old Eden has never been a "destination pub" as far as I am concerned, despite the pub ticking all the right boxes,. And so it proved thus the other Saturday.

Our party of nine had been split into two, due to a mix up with the buses. I was in the advanced group. The Old Eden is a long, narrow building; having been converted from a number of former cottages knocked through into one. There were a couple of open log fires which were a welcome sight on a cold January day. We grabbed a table close to one and then proceeded to see which beers were on offer. This was probably the first indication that things had changed at the pub. The usual two Westerham beers were still on, but the Taylor's Landlord and the Whitstable Brewery beer had disappeared.  In their place was Otter Bitter, from the West Country.

Most of us went for the Otter, which was in good condition, tasty and, at just £3.40 a pint, was excellent value as well.  The same could not be said about the next beer I went for; Westerham 1965. Not only was the beer hazy, it was also expensive - a shocking £4.00 a pint! To be fair to the pub, Westerham beers are notoriously expensive; a fact I know only too well, having been the beer buyer for last year's Spa Valley Railway Beer Festival.

Lunch - not as good as it looks!

Shortly after ordering my second pint, the other members of our party arrived. Having missed the bus in Tunbridge Wells, they had adjourned to the nearby Bedford where, as usual, there was a choice of 10 beers. I was getting peckish, so ordered myself a spot of lunch. Unfortunately it wasn't just the beer which let the Old Eden down, the liver and bacon I ordered was definitely not up to scratch, with undercooked liver, and chewy, tough and rather fatty bacon. Most disappointing!

Before catching the bus to our next scheduled stop, we walked the short distance up the road to the King & Queen; a Shepherd Neame pub, but one which we had heard some good reports about. Regular readers of this blog will know I am no fan of Shep’s beers, so I was pleasantly surprised to see a pump-clip advertising Otter Ale – the stronger 4.5% counterpart to the 3.6% bitter we had enjoyed earlier. The beer was in fine form; a sharp contrast to the visit the same group of us made a few years previously, when all the cask beers (all Shep’s), were undrinkable and we ended up walking out.

The pub is under new owners, and it seems they have made a pretty good job of turning the place round. In common with several other pubs in Edenbridge the King & Queen is an old pub with the associated beams and wooden floorboards. There are some comfortable leather sofas in front of a roaring log fire, and a raised area where pool and darts can be played. It was good to see the pub on the up.

Four Elms Inn at Four Elms

Our last port of call was on the bus route home. The Four Elms, in the village of the same name, is another pub with a recent chequered history. It is also a pub which has been rescued by new and sympathetic owners, and is in the process of being turned round. The Four Elms dates back to the 16th Century, and is deceptively roomy inside. Inside there is a main bar, a snug, a saloon, plus a restaurant and family room. Outside there is a large garden with a stream, but being a freezing cold  January day we didn’t hang around long to investigate.

As in the previous two pubs, there was a nice warming and welcoming log fire to greet us as we entered the main bar. The place had befitted from a recent redecoration, giving a bright and airy feel to the place. There were two beers on sale; local favourite Harvey’s Sussex Best and Wadworth Henry’s IPA. Not being a huge fan of Wadworth’s beers I plumped for the Harvey’s and was glad I did for two reasons. The first was the Wadworth IPA was coming to an end; a fact realised by the landlord, and the cask was promptly changed for Larkin’s Traditional (an even more local favourite). The second was the Harvey’s was in excellent form and turned out to be one of the best pints of Sussex I have had in a long time.

I had a brief look around the rest of the pub, before joining my fiends at a table close to the fire. I was racking my brains to try and remember whether I had been in the Four Elms before. If I had it must have been over 30 years ago, so it was small wonder that not much looked familiar. Our branch chairman and social secretary stood at the bar, chatting to the landlord, who was undoubtedly pleased to see us. Eight thirsty CAMRA members must be a welcome sight to a hard-pressed publican on a cold January afternoon! Mine host is a trained chef, who has major plans for the pub. It is good to see a formerly closed hostelry being brought back to life and we all wish him and his team every success with this.

We had to leave shortly before 5pm to catch the last bus back, but a brisk walk along to the bus stop saw us there in plenty of time. My colleagues continued into Tunbridge Wells, but I alighted at Bidborough in order to catch a bus back to Tonbridge. I had just received a phone call from my sister, informing me of my mother’s fall, so I needed to get home and get a bag packed ready for the trip up to Norfolk the following morning.

Leave of Absence

I’ve been stuck up in Norfolk, away from the blog, and also from my immediate family for the past week. My mother had a bad fall just over a week ago, and is currently still in hospital. I took a week off work to look after my father, who has Alzheimer’s. There’s no internet connection at my parent’s bungalow, which meant the only chances I had to go on line were when dad and I visited mum in hospital.

The Norfolk & Norwich University Hospital offers free Wi-Fi for both patients and visitors, giving me a brief chance to catch up with what’s going on.

I’m back in Kent now; mum is slowly improving and I managed to arrange a package of  three times a day “home care” visits to look after dad. Luckily I’ve a sister that lives close-by who can pop in and keep an eye on dad, and also visit mum when her work schedule allows.

It was good to spend some time with dad, even if his conversation and memory aren’t up to much these days. I did think of dragging him down to the local pub for a quick pint, but he’s never been much of a drinker and besides he can’t walk far anymore. Tempted though I was to get a few bottles in, it somehow didn’t seem right, so on top of being away from the all-encompassing world-wide-web, it’s been a pretty dry week as well.

I’m just about to crack open a bottle of Fuller’s London Porter which, I’m sure, will taste all the better following my forced abstinence!