Poaching an impromptu pint

Whether one is on that never ending quest for the perfect pub, or just out for a drive and looking for a suitable stop-off for a quick pint, it’s sometimes good to go off-piste. Doing so can be fun and it can also be revealing, and occasionally it can lead to somewhere verging on “pub perfection,” Shangri-La if you like.

I can’t pretend Wednesday evening’s drive brought us close to the latter, but it did turn out as a pleasant surprise, and an important lesson in never to pre-judge a pub – or anything else, for that matter.

I was running low on fuel – that nice low-carbon diesel that we all encouraged to buy into a decade and a half ago.  I had a voucher from Sainsbury’s that entitled me to double Nectar Points on fuel, but also thought it was high time that I checked my tyre pressures.

I normally do this before undertaking a long journey, but apart from a drive to Norfolk and back, for my father’s funeral, I haven’t driven anywhere that I could call a long journey. So thinking that February’s trip was the last time I’d checked my tyre pressures, but also mindful that even with a daily commute to work of 15 miles, I’d still clocked up a few, it was definitely time to check whether I’d been driving around on underinflated tyres, these past six months.

Matthew decided to come with me, so after checking each tyre and inflating where necessary – only one was significantly under, and purchasing 40 quid’s worth of diesel, it was time to think of a place we could stop off at, for a well-earned pint.

As an aside, the fact that our local Sainsbury’s filling station now charge motorists for air (30p for 3 minutes, pay contactless, by card), does show how long it’s been since I last checked the boots on my vehicle. Petrol stations always made a big play of advertising “Free Air,” but alas no longer, it appears.

That’s enough waffle, and on leaving the filling station, we headed north along Tonbridge High Street in search of a suitable hostelry. There were two places I had in mind; the Rose Revived, on the edge of Hadlow, or the Carpenter’s Arms at Three Elm Lane, between Tonbridge and Golden Green.

I opted for the latter, as it was fractionally nearer, but as we approached the pub, we couldn’t help noticing the cars parked along the lane. The reason for this became self-evident, when we arrived at the Carpenter’s, and found the car park literally bursting at the scenes, which was exactly what we’d experienced just over a month previously.

With insufficient room to do a u-turn, we carried on towards Golden Green and it was then that the idea hit me, why not try the Poacher & Partridge, in nearby Tudeley? This large and imposing pub started life as the Red Cow – and then went through several name changes. It was known as the Hartlake, for a while, because it is situated in Hartlake Road. I thought that it late became the Poacher, but an entry in The Real Ale Drinker’s Guide to Kent Pubs, published 1993, lists the pub as the Pig in Hiding.

A daft name that fortunately didn’t hang around too long, and the pub then became the Poacher. I remember the pub hosting the firm’s Christmas dinner, back in the late 90’s, when I worked for a family-owned chemical manufacturer, based in Tonbridge. It had been enlarged by this time and had also gained quite a reputation for its beer range. This was one reason why I was chosen for the Christmas bash, as the work’s engineer and I played a role in its selection.

2006 saw further enlargement, another makeover, and possibly the addition of  partridge to the pub’s name, although that might have happened in 2014. Thinking back, I’m sure I hadn’t set foot in the pub since that time, so Wednesday’s visit put that straight, but it's worth noting that the Poacher & Partridge is one of 11 upmarket outlets, owned by Elite Pubs.

As we pulled into the car park, I was beginning to think we would again be unlucky, but fortunately there were a few spaces in the overspill area to the far left. We walked up towards the front of the pub and a I asked Matthew if he fancied sitting inside or outside or would the pub?

We decided to see what it was like inside, and rather surprisingly we found that the central bar area was quite empty. There was a choice of three cask ales – Doom Bar (no thanks), Cellar Head Session Pale, and Harvey’s Sussex Best. I went for the latter, whilst Matthew opted for a pint of Barcelona's finest.

We decided to sit outside, despite the fact the temperature was dropping, but there was a reason for our choice which influenced this decision. I’d noticed a WhatsApp message from my sister in America, that had just flashed up on my phone. It related to our late father’s estate, and as we are both executors, I needed to respond.

The estate business has been dragging on for some time, and I could have done without what seemed like a further complication, and the five-hour time difference didn’t help either, but fortunately a text reply saved the day and Matthew and were able to resume our father-son chat.

It might seem premature to some, but we’re planning a rip to Munich for next spring - probably May time, and it seemed appropriate to list out a few of our favourite beer gardens even though the visit is over six months away. Sitting in an English pub garden whilst contemplating some of Munich’s finest outdoor drinking establishments, seemed even more appropriate.

More importantly it was something to look forward to, and as long as things continue moving in the right direction. It certainly provided a brief, and most welcome interlude from the daily routine of work and gardening that seems to have characterised the summer of 2021.

The pub itself, was obviously doing well, as was the Carpenter’s we’d been unable to access earlier, so fingers crossed our optimism isn’t unfounded!