Accept it - don't fight it

If  I’ve done the math correctly – as our American friends would say, we’re now halfway through the twelfth week of the so-called “lockdown;” a word we can thank our friends from across the Atlantic for. Like “social-distancing,” “lockdown” is a word we’ve heard far too much of recently and is yet another Americanism I’ve come to dislike.

But, as the wise-man said, “we are where we are” and it’s not much use complaining about a situation that few could have foreseen or, indeed have had to deal with before. Sure us humans have been beset by pandemics before, but it’s a hundred years since we’ve faced anything on this scale.

I don’t want to dwell too much on the whys and wherefores; although I might throw in a few of my own thoughts as to where this situation is going, at the end. Instead I wanted to suggest a few coping mechanisms which may help those who are slowly going crazy from being imprisoned in their own homes and not allowed to visit family loved ones or friends.

Confinement affects individuals in different ways and is especially hard on those used to doing their own thing. If, like me and many readers of this blog, you like to visit and explore different places, or enjoy having new experiences, then this unprecedented clampdown and restriction of our civil liberties has probably hit you quite hard.

I’m sure there are plenty amongst you who have seen holiday cancelled and other plans put on hold. We’ve had a cruise to Hamburg  that’s been cancelled plus a short break in the Czech Republic that’s now been put back until next year. Travel seems out of the question at the moment, even within the UK, although with luck that could change before too long.

Annoying as it is having to put travel plans on hold, it is not the end of the world and cancelled holidays can be re-booked and undertaken once this pandemic is over. Before you argue that it might never be over, just remember that every plague or pestilence that has occurred throughout history has always ended eventually.

With this in mind it’s worth taking a step back and reflecting that unless you or your loved ones have been adversely affected by Corona virus, this is a situation where patience and acceptance go a long way to mitigating the worst effects of the restrictions that have been imposed on us.

Before looking at these two qualities in greater detail, it’s worth reflecting on the stoicism shown by past generations as they faced two devastating world wars. The last of those conflicts in particular, meant six years of hardship and deprivation for the people of these islands, and for those involved in the fighting, the ever-present threat of death or serious injury. Civilians too were not immune from these threats, given the bombing raids conducted over many of our towns and cities.

When viewed from this angle, being confined to our own homes isn’t quite so bad, particularly now that some of the restrictions are gradually being lifted.  Without wishing to sound too clichéd, things could have been a hell of a lot worse.

I’ve been able to carry on in my job since virtually the start of  the emergency and whilst I did attempt a week and a bit  working from home, I found it much easier and more relaxing too, making the short journey into the office. With only around half of our normal compliment of staff in, I’ve been able to get a lot of things done whilst working in an environment that is largely free from interruptions.

I still find myself getting frustrated and, whist I appreciate it is necessary, I really dislike having to sidestep people I meet coming in the opposite direction from me and not getting too close to work colleagues or others I might meet in the course of a typical working day.

Not being able to jump on a train and head off for a day in London or, as my son and I did almost exactly a year ago, a day by the sea in Brighton. With pubs, restaurants and cafés closed, there’s not much point in these trips anyway and, as the same applies to hotels and guesthouses, it’s impossible to spend a night away from home.

I’m itching to recommence my stalled walk along the North Downs Way, but with no overnight accommodation available, it’s looking very difficult at present. As I may have mentioned in a previous post, Mrs PBT’s isn’t keen on me using public transport either, although now that the wearing of masks on buses and trains is to be made compulsory, she might well relent.

I keep telling her that an off-peak train, with just a handful of occupants, poses far less risk than a trip to the supermarket. Why am I so keen to travel on buses and trains? The answer is there are sections of the NDW I can easily cover, it there are public transport connections at either end.

Once again it all boils down to a little patience. We’ve only had three months of Corona-related restrictions, so why the hurry? I think, if truth be known, like almost everyone on planet Earth, there’s a deep-seated longing for things to get back to normal, as soon as possible. None of us like change, especially when it’s being forced on us, and patterns of behaviour acquired over decades, along with thousands of years of humans living together in complex societies, have left us with habits and patterns that are hard to break – even if we want to.

Most of us realise that changing these patterns for a short while, will be worth it in the long run; a sort of “no gain without pain” approach, but it still comes hard and it doesn’t come easy. We can learn from history though, and see how previous pandemics have been eased, and ultimately erased, by the appropriate quarantine and isolation methods. 

So what has, at the moment, become the new “normal” can very rapid fade back into memory, once the pandemic is over, but to arrive at that particular moment in time we need something else apart from patience, and that is acceptance.

Accepting things as they are is the key to a serene and peaceful existence, especially when what you are accepting are realities you can’t change. Accept you cannot force things and that you cannot force change. To do so just creates conflict, inner turmoil and ultimately pain, and believe me these aren’t things you want in your life, especially when everything around you seems to be falling apart.

I know that it’s frustrating not being able to do what we used to do and go wherever we wanted, but this situation is temporary, even if we don’t know how long it will be before normality returns. Don’t try to fight it, as it will make you miserable and leave you feeling un-fulfilled.

By accepting “what is,” you will gain a calmness and inner peace that will not only help you through the situation we all find ourselves in, but it will leave you stronger, wiser and ready to face the post-Corona world we eventually emerge into once all this is over.

This may all sound a bit too philosophical, but it’s helped me overcome my frustration and sense of helplessness. Look forward to the return of the good times; just don’t put a time-frame on when they return. Then, when things are back to normal, promise yourself that you’ll never ever take anything for granted again!

Finally, despite suggesting I was going to throw in a few suggestions as to the possible outcome of this situation, there’s so much speculation and conjecture that it would be pointless for me to add any of my own. Events often have a habit of overtaking us and taking us by surprise, so let’s just go with the flow and see where this one takes us.