Will there or won't there be a Great British Beer Festival next year?

The other day I read a blog article, by Benjamin Nunn, in which he bemoans the fact that there will be no CAMRA Great British Beer Festival this year. Ben writes under the name of Ben Viveur, a title that gives more than a hints of what his blog is about, namely enjoying real food and drink in the real world. He also writes about cooking, and how to “Create recipes that taste awesome, but which can be created by mere mortals without the need for specialist equipment.” Needless to say, beer features quite highly on Ben Viveur, and whilst Ben isn’t a prolific blogger, he always has something interesting to say.

In his latest post on the Great British Beer Festival, Ben professes his deep love for the event, having first attended it 30 years ago, and never missed one since. In 2023, he took the plunge and spent the week working at the festival as a volunteer, so you can imagine his deep disappointment and indeed sorrow over the non-happening of the event in 2024. The main reason behind the cancellation is the extensive, and ongoing renovations taking place at Olympia, and I’m sure this is something we can all accept. However, Ben has his suspicions that GBBF might not be quite the same festival when it does come back.

This arises from what he describes as “rumours and tittle-tattle, from various sources,” citing that the festival is living beyond its means. The gossip suggests that the festival has gone beyond being cost-ineffective and become loss-making in a quite serious way, enough to make it unsustainable in its current form. Over the years staff perks have been cut back a bit in an attempt to offset this, but this strikes me as “biting the hand that feeds you,” as without the army of volunteers – all of whom are unpaid, there just wouldn’t be a festival.

I have heard similar reports, most recently from a long-standing CAMRA member who, at one time was chairman of my local CAMRA branch. I shan’t name him, but I bumped into him, a couple of weeks ago in the Nelson Arms, in Tonbridge. Despite not having much to do with West Kent CAMRA these days, this individual is quite heavily involved with annual, Spa Valley Railway Beer Festival in Tunbridge Wells. During our conversation, he was bemoaning the fact that whilst CAMRA adopts stringent financial controls when it comes to beer festivals run by local branches - quite rightly in my view, they are far more lax when it comes to their own, national flagship event. A view that certainly ties in with the haemorrhaging money story that's been doing the rounds.

If these rumours are true, I’ve little doubt that CAMRA will have to take a long, hard, and very necessary view of the event, but as Ben points out on his blog, a scaled-down half-hearted GBBF, full of compromises just wouldn't be the same. I’m sure it wouldn’t, but is the current, bloated, behemoth of an event what people want in this day and age? 

I’ve been an infrequent attendee over the years, and in fact was present at the very first national beer festival – the Covent Garden Exhibition,which took place in 1975. This event acted as the precursor to today’s Great British Beer Festival, and I’m pleased to say as well as the very first GBBF, held a couple of years later, at London’s Alexandra Palace, I’ve followed the festival to its other homes at Brighton, Earls Court and latterly, Olympia. The event moved around the country, for several years, with both Birmingham and Leeds welcoming the festival, during the 1980’s. For financial reasons, I wasn’t able to travel to those venues, but I did attend the disastrous, one-off event, at the Dockland’s Arena, in the Isle of Dogs, back in 1991.

Six years ago, I published a rather lengthy, look-back at four decades of the Great British Beer Festival, which you can read by clicking on the above link. I won’t repeat what I wrote then, but I will say that the following year – 2019, I attended what would be my final GBBF. COVID obviously put paid to the festival in 2020 and 2021, but it made a comeback in 2022. The following year was the one which Benjamin Nunn worked at as a volunteer, and you can read about his experiences here. 

They certainly provide a useful and valuable insight into what goes on at CAMRA’s flagship festival, even though it’s hard to get a grasp of the scale of what goes on behind the scenes plus the sheer logistics involved with hosting such an event. The amount of volunteers necessary to ensure the smooth running of GBBF, is a problem in itself, especially given the increasing age of these unsung heroes, and with less and less youngsters to fill their shoes, the lack of suitable manpower will become a major issue, if it hasn’t done so already.

This only fuels the speculation in my mind that if GBBF does return in 2025, it will be as a much scaled down event. After all, is it really necessary to have 900+ beers on sale? It’s true that the festival does pull in the punters, but my experience is the two main halls at Olympia, become unpleasantly crowded as each day draws on, and whilst CAMRA have done their best by providing a lot more, and much needed additional seating, the event can be very hard on the feet.

There is also the vexed question of admission charges, as even with a discounted rate for CAMRA members, visitors can spend quite a bit of money, even before they’ve had a drink! Munich’s world-famous Oktoberfest doesn’t charge for admission, and neither does it require a deposit on one’s glass. Prices for both beer and food, whilst higher than in central Munich, aren’t much higher, which is surprising given the large contingent of staff employed to take orders and bring beer and food to the customers’ table.

Even before the pandemic, I’d already decide that 2019's event was going to be my last, and I know quite a few of my friends also felt the same way. The fun had gone out of the festival, and with so many different beers on offer, deciding which to go for was like stabbing in the dark. It was far easier, back in the early days when my ambition was limited to ticking off every British brewery. That goal went out of the window with the dramatic increase in brewery numbers that occurred during the nineties and noughties!

We shall have to see what happens next year, but I think CAMRA is going have to be honest with itself, if it thinks it can pick up from where it left off in 2023.

Have you forgotten something?

I expected a certain amount of flack in the aftermath of my “umbrella” post, although one or two trolls did take things further than they perhaps should have done, but my forgetfulness took a new twist last Friday, when I headed out by bus to the village that would see me completing the final section of the Tunbridge Wells Circular Walk. That village was Groombridge, which literally straddles the Kent-Sussex border, and my plan was to walk from there to Southborough, a much larger settlement between Tonbridge and Tunbridge Wells. Two buses were involved, the No. 7 and the No. 291. The first service would take me from my home to Tunbridge Wells where, after a 30-minute wait I could board the second bus to Groombridge.

So far, so good, and the half-hour stop-over would allow me to grab a coffee from Greggs, along with a cheese and salad roll to be consumed alter on the walk. I stepped off the No. 7 and headed towards the Royal Victoria Place shopping centre to make use of the “facilities” before calling in at Greggs. As I walked through the RVP doors, I had the feeling that I was missing something, but what? It was then that it dawned on me that I’d left my map carrier, and its contents, upstairs on the bus that I’d just left behind.

A mixture of annoyance coupled with panic enveloped me, as the map carrier contained both the guidebook for the TWCW, plus the relevant OS map. My initial thoughts were whilst some public-spirited individual would hand them in. 

I would need to visit the Arriva depot at Maidstone in order to retrieve them. I then thought I could perhaps walk this stretch without the aid of map and guidebook. That thought didn't last long though, as despite the presence of way
marks along the trail, these are quite often missing or were non-existent in the first place. This means that walkers need a map, at the very least, and ideally an accurate guidebook as well.The price of the OS map, plus the guidebook, both of which had accompanied me on the previous sections of the walk were additional factors, although by then a plan had formed in my head, and I knew that all was not lost.

The No. 7 Arriva bus runs between Maidstone and Tunbridge Wells at half-hour intervals, and I was aware that after dropping passengers off at the shopping centre, the vehicle would head downhill to the station. It would turn round in order to make the return journey to Maidstone. I hurried back across the road in readiness for its appearance. I could then jump onboard and explain my loss to the driver. The handful of passengers, waiting at the stop were sympathetic to my plight, and kindly suggested I hop on first.

The driver remembered me, along with the map carrier around my neck – Mrs PBT’s claimed it made me look like a “special needs” person, but as no one had handed the item in, he surmised that it must still be upstairs. He left his seat and bounded up the stairs, and there, still on the seat where I’d obviously left it, was my map carrier.

Thanking him profusely, I headed back over the road to Greggs and bought the cheese roll that I knew would sustain me at lunchtime. Unfortunately, there wasn’t time to buy and drink a cup of coffee before the departure of the Groombridge service. With two personal belongings left somewhere in as many weeks, I was starting to get a little concerned, but worse was to come, as I’m about to reveal. I caught the 291 bus, as planned, and then walked along to the start of the trail, at the village's local community centre. The path then took a sort of “dog leg” around Groombridge Place, a 17^th Century, moated manor house, before climbing up towards the equally ancient Crown Inn.

And here we must leave the Tunbridge Wells Circular Walk for a while, although there will be a separate post about this cross-country walk, later on. I made good progress along the trail, but I would quite easily have become lost without the help of that guidebook. That erudite publication shows the distance between Groombridge and Southborough as just over six miles, but they must be “country miles” as the walk seemed considerably longer, especially after I stopped for a rest and a well-earned pint. My choice of watering hole was an obvious one, as the trail goes straight past the front door of the George & Dragon at Speldhurst.

The temperature had been climbing steadily all morning, so I was glad when I strode into the attractive hill-top village of Speldhurst, just after 2pm. This was make or break time, as there was an opportunity to abort the walk at this point, take a bus back to Tunbridge Wells, and continue this section of the TWCW. Stopping for a pint meant missing the bus, so despite being hot, thirsty and tired, a nice cool glass of Harvey’s Sussex Best won the day.

I carefully carried my five-pound pint out into the spacious garden at the rear of the pub, found a shady spot and at down to enjoy this glorious marriage of malt and hops. Apart from a French family sitting just a few tables away from me, I had this part of the garden to myself.  I was sorely tempted to unpack the cheese and salad roll that I’d bought in Greggs earlier, and do a BRAPA – Simon Everitt’s, who is known for his none too subtle habit of eating his own food in pubs, as he works his way through every entry in the Good Beer Guide.

I didn’t, in the end, even though I could have got away with it, but the fact that I’d spotted a comfortable wooden bench, in a shady spot, just outside the churchyard, across the road, meant I had somewhere to enjoy my cheese roll, without causing any embarrassment. I was about two thirds of my way through this most welcome spot of lunch when, like earlier that morning, I realised something again, was missing. 

This time it was my walking stick, and whilst at first, I thought it might have slid under the bench, it definitely wasn’t there. I finished my roll and headed back to the pub, and sure enough there was my stick resting against the white-painted picket fence, where I had left it. I shall let you be the judge over my state of forgetfulness, but twice in one day, and with two different items, takes a bit of doing!

 

Partying the night away (or part of it at least), at Five Points Brewing

In the previous post, I wrote a brief piece mentioning the British Guild of Beer Writers summer party, that I attended last Wednesday evening. The event was held at Hackney-based Five Points Brewing, and I have to say the company were perfect hosts, providing plentiful beer and pizza in the setting of impressive their light and airy taproom that adjoins their Mare Street brewery. I’d been aware of the company and its beers for some time, although apart from liking the beers that Five Points were turning out, I didn’t know that much about them. I later discovered the company began brewing in 2013 on a 16hL brew-house in a railway arch beneath Hackney Downs station, before moving to their current site, in Mare Street – just a short distant down the road. The same elevated railway, that housed Five Points original brewery in one of its brick arches, runs along the rear of the current brew-house and taproom.

Brewing capacity was doubled in 2015, with a new 32hL brew house that has enabled the company to meet the high demand for Five Points beer. Although the new brewery is all shiny, stainless steel, it operates along traditional lines with mash tun, wort kettle, and whirlpool. Fermenting vessels range in size from 20hL, 40hL and 120hL, along with a number of bright beer tanks where the finished beer is store, prior to filling into cask, keg or bottle. a centrifuge on site, which is used prior to packaging the beer. Keg accounts for 75% of Five Points output, with cask making up 20%. The remaining 5% is bottled beer.

Along with a number of other guests, I was given a tour around the brewery by a pleasant and very knowledgeable north American lady (I wasn’t sure if she was from the US or Canada), who was happy to answer our questions. She was obviously passionate about Five Points and its beers, and from the other employees we met (pouring the beer, and sorting out the pizza), this enthusiasm seems to extend across the whole company. Five Points select the very best UK suppliers for use in their beers including Simpsons Malt from Norfolk, and Hukins Hops from Kent. Keen readers will remember my report of a visit made to Hukins, a couple of years ago, which was specially arranged for Guild members.

Available from the bar, at the far end of the taproom, were five tank beers brewed on site, and drawn from a number of horizontal s/s tanks stacked behind the bar. Four guest beers, from other breweries were also available. In addition, although I didn’t notice them until towards the end of the evening, were a couple of Five Points cask beers, dispensed by hand-pump. We were each given a token, entitling us to three pints, courtesy of the brewery and, for those wishing to have more, the Guild were running a tab behind the bar.

Solid nourishment came in the form of pizza – surely everyone’s favourite accompaniment to beer, courtesy of Yard Sale Pizza – slogan “Handmade & Hand-Delivered”. Like the beer, the pizza was plentiful, meaning no one went away hungry. As if that wasn’t enough, there was a range of bottled and canned beers available, for party guests to either drink there, or take away with them. These were kindly donated by brewers such as Greene King, Shepherd Neame, Davenports and Rooster’s, amongst others. Guests had been encouraged beforehand, to bring a bag with them, in order to take some of these samples home with them. I managed to stash 10 of these in my rucksack, although any more would have been too heavy to carry.

So, with the brewery, beer, pizza and take-home goodies sorted, what about the party itself? Well, it is best described as a relatively low-key, informal get together, with the only real input from the Guild being a short address by BGBW chairman, Jonny Garrett. Jonny is the author of “A Year in Beer”, an excellent book which attempts, in a non-forceful way, to inject a little seasonality into beer drinking, something which was far more common back when we all lives in a far more agrarian society than we do today.

Later on in the evening, I managed a few quick words with Jonny, saying how much I enjoyed his book. I also explained that despite my best intentions in trying to follow the seasonal guidance outlined in “A Year in Beer” I fail miserably, by forgetting the book’s underlying philosophy, until the advent of summer. He seemed pleased that I had enjoyed his book, along with the principles behind it. In a game of “Pin the next author down,” I next had a brief chat with Laura Hadland, author of “50 Years of CAMRA” - a book billed as the definitive history to the Campaign’s first half century. I explained that whilst I wasn’t there right from the start, I did start playing an active roll in CAMRA from the mid 1970’s onwards. “I trust I got the story right,” was Laura’s reply, which of course, by and large she had.

Final writer of the evening was David Jesudason, author of the award winning “Desi Pubs- A guide to British-Indian Pubs, Food & Culture.”  I met David on the aforementioned hop-picking visit to Hukins Hops, which sadly was the last time I saw Bryan Betts, who passed away in February this year. I haven't purchased a copy of David's book yet, purely becasue there aren't any Desi pubs in this neck of the woods, but for future trips to cities such as Manchester, Birmingham as well as London, I'm sure it will prove invaluable. On last year's visit to Brum, we visited the excellent Hen & Chickens, a thriving Desi pub on the edge of the city's Jewellery Quarter, as recommended by LAF. The pub was packed, and the curries looked, and smelled amazing. Definitely a pub for next time!

The bar closed at 9pm, although by then, I’d enjoyed four excellent pints of Five Points beers - Pale, Lager, XPA and Best. The latter was a cask ale, and a rather good quaffing bitter, whilst the others were keg, but both the Lager and the XPA were top notch. In common with the remaining guests, I made my way back to Cambridge Fields station. An invitation had been extended for partygoers to visit the Pembury Tavern, situated between Hackney Downs and Hackney Central stations, but I thought I’d leave a visit to this legendary pub, for another occasion. 

I mention this because Five Points own the Pembury, alongside the National Inventory-listed Whitelock’s in Leeds – the oldest public house in the city, and another unspoiled, heritage pub that is high on my list to visit. Our guide had told us earlier that the company had plans to expand into other areas of the country, although Leeds seemed a surprise move, at first, like many other UK cities, it has a thriving beer culture.

Well that’s it from the Big Smoke for the time being, although I’m sure it won’t be long before I’m heading up that way again.

 

A cherished umbrella is retrieved and I spend the evening in a part of London I haven't experienced before

This semi-retirement malarkey isn't quite or what it's cracked up to be. I say this because already this morning, I've tidied up got full load of washing on the line, sorted out yesterday's box off beer arrived from Braybrook Brewing, responded to a couple of work-related emails that needed my attention even though the senders knew that I ‘m not in the office on Thursday and Friday, and taken in two parcels on behalf of Mrs PBT’s. Thankfully, she is away from the house this morning, beavering away at the local scaffolding company where she puts in one day a week, looking after the financial side of things (paying the bills as well as the wages).

I normally drive her in, but this morning, one of her colleagues relieved me of that task. I still need to pick her up, mid-afternoon, and woe betide me if I'm late! For the moment though, I’ve got the house to myself, which is just as well following yesterday evening’s visit to London. I was in the capital for the British Guild of Beer Writers Summer Party, an event which, by tradition, normally takes place a day or so prior to the opening of the Great British Beer Festival.

GBBF didn’t happen this year – something about the non-availability of Olympia, but several people I have spoken to, including one or two from CAMRA, doubt that, having lost money, over many years, CAMRA’s flagship festival will ever make a comeback. One nameless individual claimed, quite rightly in my opinion, that after insisting CAMRA branches adhere to a strict set of financial guidelines, the campaign should do the same for its own, high-profile event,

Leaving these facts aside, the Beer Writers Guild went ahead with their summer party, regardless of what was happening over at CAMRA, and despite a few initial, pre-event reservations, I was glad I went along. The party took place at the spacious premises of Five points Brewing Company, who are based in Hackney, and as well as plenty of beer, both draught and bottled, and ample slices of pizza to help soak it up, there was also a guided tour around Five Points impressive brewery - a monument to stainless steel if you like.

A full report will follow in due course, but I'm still playing catch up my with various things including this blog, which I have shamefully neglected. Before taking the train up to London, on Wednesday afternoon, I called in at the Nelson Arms, which is a stone throw’s away from Tonbridge station. This was shortly after their 3pm opening time, and my objective was to collect the umbrella I'd accidentally left in the pub, on Saturday afternoon. I've got form when it comes to this sort of things, remembering the following day that I left my umbrella somewhere, and almost certainly at the pub. This is why I'm always a little wary of taking a brolly with me on pub visits and days out, even if it provides the perfect excuse for a return visit.

In this instance, I’d phoned the Nelson the day after my weekend visit, and was told that me umbrella was indeed there, but despite this the barman had to produce a number of different umbrellas before I could identify mine. Obviously, I am not their only forgetful customer! Whilst there it seemed rude not have a pint, even though I had a potential heavy evening’s beer supping ahead of me. Please excuse the dreadful pun, but “Born to be Mild”, from Kent Brewery fitted the bill, and at 3.4%, it wasn’t too heavy to begin an evening’s drinking.

Back to the brolly for a second, I was especially pleased to have this particular one back in my possession, because it has never been used in anger, so to speak. It was purchased specifically for a business trip to China, which was back in May 2019, but as things turned out there was no need to use it. The weather on the whole, was dry, although oppressively humid at times, and this invariably resulted in a massive thunderstorm. I was on my way to Guangzhou airport for my flight home, when the storm broke, so I fortunately missed the torrential rain. which was so heavy and incessant, that an umbrella would have been useless.

Back to Wednesday, I managed to catch 4pm train up to town and after alighting at London Bridge, decided to walk to Liverpool Street station, from where I could take the London Overground to Cambridge Heath. Fitness issues aside, there were several reasons for wanting to walk between these London termini, the first being to kill a bit of time, but the main one was to avoid travelling during rush hour on an overcrowded, underground train. I'd already had a lecture from Mrs PBT's about COVID, bearing in mind the events of just under a year ago when I picked up a dose of the plague whist attending the London Craft Beer Festival. 

So, on a dry sunny day, tempered with a light but blustery wind, it was no hardship to walk across the Thames and then make my way along Gracechurch Street and Bishopsgate towards Liverpool Street, in fact it was a real pleasure. There's always something new that you haven't seen before, and I’m not just talking about the massive amount of building work that's going on in that part of the City.  There are some delightful Wren churches on the way before reaching the hustle and bustle of Liverpool Street – a station that seems to hide away, rather than present its splendour to the world. In fact, for such a major and important station Liverpool Street is tucked away, and to access the trains one has to descend from street level to the main concourse, several feet below street level.

Both London Bridge and Liverpool Street provided much needed comfort stops, if you get my meaning, as it's amazing the effect that just one pint of beer can have on the person's bladder. I'm sure you didn't need to know that, but it's encouraging that station toilets have vastly improved since the days of British Rail. There’s rightly, no charge for using the facilities, which all appear clean and well looked after

It was just two stops on the London Overground to Cambridge Heath, the nearest stop for Five Points Brewing my destination that evening, and I'm pretty sure Wednesday was the first time I've travelled on that particular stretch of line. I alighted from the train and made my way along Mare Street towards Five Points. The area seemed a little edgy at first, but I think that was just me being a little cautious, because on the way back it seemed fine. That may have been down to the beer but often perception is far worse than reality.

I’m going to leave it here, as whilst there’s lots more to say about Five Points, including the beer and the brewery, there’s the Guild Party as well to write about. I’m also conscious at not having posted for over a week, so until next time……….

Other cruise lines are available

This post is especially for Volvo Cruiser, who specifically requested another article about our recent cruise. This post sort of is, as it is based on observations made whilst cruising around the western Mediterranean, back in June, but it also looks to the future, particularly as Mrs PBT’s and I contemplate where to ail to next year, and which cruise line we should choose.

If my sums are correct, we’ve clocked up six cruises since metaphorically dipping our toes in the water, on a three-day return voyage to Zeebrugge, at the tail end of October 2019. That was a “taster” cruise that we undertook, in the company of Eileen’s sister and her late husband, both of whom were seasoned cruisers. The pair showed us the ropes, so to speak, and having enjoyed the experience, we booked a slightly longer cruise to Hamburg, for the following May.

That, of course, never materialised – thanks to COVID, but the following year, when some virus restrictions were still in place, we booked a four-day, British Isles cruise, to Liverpool and back. This was on our own, as Eileen’s brother-in-law sadly passed away, right at the start of the pandemic. COVID wasn’t the cause of his passing, instead an aggressive brain tumour was behind his premature demise. Eileen and I had already decided that any future cruises should just involve the pair of us, rather than extended family, although we remain open to son Matthew joining us. That might sound a little selfish but that first cruise, along with previous experiences of going away as part of a group, was sufficient to confirm, what we both already knew that two’s company, whilst three or more is a crowd.

So far, we have only cruised with Cunard, a well-known and long-established shipping line who are considered top of the chain when it comes to luxury and sophistication. Combine that with a little glamour and elegance, and it’s easy to see why Cunard are held in such high regard. Mrs PBT’s can be a little conservative in her tastes, and by that, I mean she prefers what she is familiar with. I on the other hand wouldn’t mind a change and to this end we have both been looking at other cruise lines.

That isn’t quite as easy as it sounds because in common with Cunard and P&O, who are the other home-grown “British” cruise line they, like other operators such as Royal Caribbean, Norwegian, and Holland America, are all part of the American-owned, Carnival Corporation, the world’s largest cruise operator. Interestingly, all 12 operators within the group, retain a fair degree of autonomy, when it comes to branding, with each major cruise line maintaining separate sales, marketing and reservation offices, as well as heading up the industry’s most intensive shipbuilding programs.

Before looking further afield, let’s take a more detailed look at Cunard to find out why I, at least, am looking to book a voyage with a different cruise line. Personally, I find Cunard too formal and too stuffy, with customs and traditions seemingly hanging on since the last days of Empire. The formal dress code that is expected of guess wishing to dine in the Britannia Restaurant really gets me goat. It’s like being back at work, although my company doesn’t really operate under such formality, apart from at trade shows or the occasional business dinner.

When on holiday, I really don’t want to dress like a stuffed penguin, any more than Mrs PBT’s wants to parade around in her glad rags. That’s not strictly true, because prior to every cruise she has brought herself a new "posh frock”, even though it will only be worn a couple of times, and there’s nothing wrong with the dress she bought for the previous cruise, or even the one before that! My point that fellow passengers won’t know that her frock isn’t a new one, is normally countered with the quip, “They might not, but I WILL!”

When push comes to shove, she often can’t be bothered to dress up, and it’s me who pushes for the occasional posh dinner – but only because I’ve gone to the trouble of packing a suit! The other issue about dining in the posh restaurant, are the set meal times, and these are 5.30pm and 9pm. 

On our first cruise, Eileen and I were very disappointed at her sister plus husband’s choice of the first sitting, as it meant missing the traditional “sail away”, which is the moment the ship weighs anchor, cast off her ropes, and slips away from the quayside. So, on our first cruise, and Queen Elizabeth beginning her departure down Southampton Water, and out into the Solent, and there we were trying to make polite conversation with a group of people we’d never met and were unlikely to meet again.

We soon got wise to this, and now opt for “open dining” which allows us to choose which, if any sitting, we prefer (nearly always the 8.30 option). This brings me to the second point about the posh restaurant, which is people like to sit on the same table, with the same people, every evening. They usually have the same waiter as well.  I’m sure they all have a jolly good time, but it’s not for us, as particularly when on holiday, it’s nice not to be bound by time restrictions or by dress ones, for that matter. I noticed how certain people become quite anxious about dining times, as on the Rome excursion I went on, there were people on the coach becoming quite fretful as to whether or not they would be back onboard ship, for their 5.30pm dining slot!

For a substantial number of people though, dressing up each evening, for a formal dinner, is part and parcel of the cruise, and it probably on equal, or indeed higher footing, to that of the destinations visited and even the sights seen. Other formalities, extend to the casino, and to some of the posher bars- Commodore Club, Churchill Cigar Lounge, Gin Bar etc, but fortunately are not applied in the pub – always called the Golden Lion, on Cunard ships. 

Regular pub quizzes though, take place in the pub, as do certain entertainment acts, which brings me on to the theatre, cabaret, plus other singing and dancing activities, plus of course, the popularity of ballroom dancing, something that is taken extremely seriously by the participants – most of whom seem to be northerners! That’s just about exhausted Cunard, although I trust I haven’t painted too negative a picture. There is always the buffet, or some of the poolside dining options that are open during the day, and don’t forget, there is no requirement to dress for breakfast or lunch in the posh restaurant, either. The latter, along with the pub, provide the best option on embarkation day, when the majority of passengers cram into the buffet.

So, what about the alternatives? P&O, Fred Olsen and Saga are looking like the favourites at the moment, and I have received good reports from a couple of work colleagues about the former. Less formal, but still with a “British” feel to them. Norwegian-owned Fred Olsen would be my choice. Smaller and more personal ships, able to access smaller ports that the larger vessels are excluded from. 

Some of their destinations also look interesting – Scandinavia (obviously), the Baltic, and the British Isles, but also Croatia, and some of the smaller Greek islands. Some Fred Olsen cruises, depart from other UK ports, such as Dover, Liverpool or Newcastle, instead of Southampton, and Dover is also the embarkation point for Saga Cruises. The latter seem expensive, but you have to weigh the higher cost against an inclusive drinks package, plus collection from your house and return drop off, by taxi, that will take you directly to and from the cruise terminal.

We have ruled out Princess, Holland-America, Royal Caribbean and Celebrity, as many of these are party ships, geared up to a younger audience. The size of some of these vessels can be rather off-putting as well. One of these leviathans followed our ship into harbour, at the Majorcan capital, Palma.  I forget the number of passengers the boat was carrying, but it was probably double Queen Anne’s complement of 3,000 cruisers. Once ashore, the noisy and excitable, mainly American passengers, were all over the seafront, although it was quite amusing watching some of them getting taken in by the looky-looky men. Fake Gucci and Yves St Lauren handbags, and equally fake Swiss watches, at knock-down prices, I don’t think so.

Even more entertaining was watching these hawkers scoop up the blankets in which these items were laid, and then scarper at the first hint of a person in uniform. In a bid to stamp out this trade in dodgy goods, the Spanish authorities have started issuing substantial fines to any tourists caught buying these items, so be warned! I’ve gone slightly off-piste here, so I shall draw things to a close, and in the meantime, do my best to persuade Mrs PBT’s to try a different cruise line, and see how we get on.