Reality not quite meeting expectations

My re-introduction to drinking inside a pub and in fact my first pint inside a public house since late October 2020, wasn’t exactly quite what I was expecting. Matthew and I decided the previous evening that we would go out of a pint, and after a little debate decided on the Foresters Arms. Thursday was a wild and windy day, not exactly what one expects in late May. It was also cold.

We set off but the sky looked angry, and I could see rain falling, obscuring the distant hills. So, with Matthew not wearing a proper waterproof coat, (typical youngster!), and umbrellas virtually useless in the strong winds, we had a last-minute change of plan, and made for the much nearer Vauxhall Inn instead.

This former coaching inn and traditional pub, is now a much enlarged Chef & Brewer outlet. Today the chain is owned and operated by Greene King. The Vauxhall has always been a popular haunt of Matthew and his friend, but never favourite of mine, nor of Mrs PBT's. The trouble is I remember it from its Whitbread days, when it was a decent, simple, and quite basic pub on the edge of Tonbridge.

The pub only re-opened on Monday, as for some reason it didn’t take advantage of outdoor drinking that was available from 12^th April.  This was strange, as there is a reasonably sized garden area at the side of the pub. What was even stranger, was the lack of vehicles in the car-park, so much so that we weren't even sure the place was open.

It was, and we found a one way system in operation when we arrived, with entry at the side, and exit at the front. We waited at the appointed space and explained to the staff member who appeared to greet us, that we didn’t have a reservation, but just wanted to stay for a couple of pints.

"No problem," said the helpful young man, but could I please scan the QR Code. The link didn’t work on my phone, probably because my default setting is to leave mobile data turned off and relying on Wi-Fi instead. I gave him my mobile number, although he didn’t seem to want Matthew’s, he then escorted us, through a deserted pub, to a table in the corner.

We were sat right below a speaker, a fact which didn’t improve my grumpiness after a hard day at work. When the barman came to take our order for the second round of drinks (see below), I asked, much to Matthew’s embarrassment, if he could turn volume down. He actually turned it off, which was a bonus, but as there were no other customers in the pub, and the staff had probably listened to that particular musical selection several times over, it was no great loss on anyone’s part.

After sitting down, we placed our drinks order. I asked which cask ales were available; the answer being GK IPA, Abbot and Yardbird. Thinking the latter was a keg beer, rather than the late sixties precursor to Led Zeppelin,  I opted for IPA, but later, when leaving the pub and walking past the bar, I noticed the hand pump for Yardbird.

Matthew enquired which lagers the pub had on, only to be told there were no draught lagers available, only bottled Kronebourg, Peroni or Corona. A strange state of affairs, but I later heard the bar staff talking and it turned out there had been a problem in the cellar. They were waiting for a part; it had been delivered but they were now waiting for someone to come and fit it -whatever it might be.

Given the length of time that pubs have been closed, there should have been ample time for the pub’s management to call in Greene King’s cellar service team to check all their systems were functioning correctly, ready for opening on 17^th May!

On the subject of the bar staff chatting, there was rather too much of that, and not enough attention paid to customers, even though, for a while, we were the only ones in the pub. For example, when we wanted another round of drinks, I had to get up and stroll over to the bar to attract someone’s attention. That was probably against the current Nanny State rules, but what was I supposed to do?

Some might say, order by app, but I like to speak to and engage with people, and also don’t want to clog up my phone memory with yet more, unwanted apps. I managed a brief chat with the friendly barman, when he brought the card machine over, so we could settle our account. He said that trade had been very quiet, and we both alluded to the part the atrocious weather might have played in this.

He added that the quiet spell has been good for easing the staff back in gently. I replied that he ought to be careful what he wished for, although if truth be known I have never known the Vauxhall to be particularly busy – certainly not in its current form.  

To be fair to the pub and its team, the IPA was in very good form, although as you can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear, I would have preferred something with a little more flavour. The same applied to the Abbot, and whilst this beer has significantly more body and depth of flavour than IPA, I feel it is missing something. It is certainly not the same beer I remember drinking during visits to Bedford, back in the later 1970’s.

Whilst this wasn’t quite the re-introduction to drinking inside a pub I was expecting, it was still good being able to sit there actually indoors, enjoying a pint or two, along with a chat. And chat we did. Matthew enlightened me about how his saving for deposit on a flat is going, and we discussed a few of the options available to help him get a foot on the property ladder.

It didn’t rain of course, so we could and should have visited the Forester’s. It’s a proper pub, owned by a brewery (Shepherd Neame) and run by a tenant. There will always be another time, or will there, with news breaking that a "triple mutant" strain of Coronavirus has been detected in Yorkshire of all places, who knows what the next move in this sorry saga will be? 

You couldn’t honestly make this sort of sh*t up, and we’re nowhere near the so-called “silly season” for daft news stories at the moment. So, until next time.