Alternate Title*

I felt the need to get out of the house on Sunday. My body was crying out for some exercise and whilst I’d carried out a fair amount of long-overdue pruning the previous day, the requirement to properly stretch my legs, combined with a change of scenery, prompted me to take a walk down into the centre of Tonbridge.

Unlike Saturday when the sun had been shining, Sunday was rather dull and overcast, with a distinct chill in the air, but it was still dry, so after agreeing to pick up some shopping for Mrs PBT’s, off I went.

Now with pubs, bars and restaurants all closed, there was nowhere tempting for me to partake in some liquid refreshment, and as I wrote in a previous post, it very much feels like this mean-spirited government have sucked all the fun and joy out of life.  I’d joked, whilst leaving the house, about finding somewhere to sit and enjoy a drink. I meant a coffee, but Mrs PBT’s thought I was referring to a beer - no chance of that, I'm afraid!

If proof were needed of my desire for something a little different and out of the ordinary, I took a slight detour to see whether the gas-main replacement work, disrupting my usual route to work, had finished yet. 

Boy I know how to live, but the work that was supposed to have been completed within a forthright, now looks likely to drag on for several more weeks, at least. No doubt the utility company will blame the delay on Covid-19; after all it’s blamed for everything else that goes wrong, but I continued on my journey, mulling over the lack of traffic and the virtual absence of people out and about.

As I approached our local Waitrose supermarket, it became obvious that many of the missing cars were parked up there, and that was where many of the people were as well. I had planned on calling in to pick up some beer, as even though I’m awash with the stuff at home, I’m always on the lookout for something new that takes my fancy, or a bargain.  A combination of both is the ideal scenario, but it doesn’t often work out that way.

Put off by the crowds I envisaged thronging the aisles of Waitrose (I’d had enough of that the previous day at Tesco, in Sevenoaks), I walked across to the river, before reaching the High Street and making my way across  what is know locally as the “Big Bridge.”

Before doing so, I noticed people queuing up outside KFC, for their southern-fried chicken fix. What a sorry state we’ve become, as apart from home delivery services such as Deliveroo, Just Eat and Uber, standing inline outside a takeaway is the only option left for those unwilling or unable to rustle up a meal at home.  The same applied to anyone, like me, fancying a coffee – as mentioned earlier.

We’ll come onto the takeaway coffee thing shortly, but first I continued up the High Street, passed posh-nosh restaurant Verdigris, to the Organic Village Market. Formerly the Tailor-Made Wine Library, this multi-faceted emporium has established itself as a place to pick up some interesting beers, as well as a go-to store for fresh organic produce, much of it locally sourced.

I stepped inside, and it didn’t disappoint. On the contrary, there were several shelves, plus a number of fridges all loaded with a variety of hard to get beers. There were probably too many German wheat beers for my liking, but there were some other gems from the Fatherland, including Paulaner and Hofbräu from Munich, plus a beer from Rothaus (not the Pils, unfortunately).

Local brewers, Westerham also featured prominently, but the beers that caught my eye, were a selection from Curious Brew and Samuel Smith. I only purchased three bottles in the end, because that was all that would fit in my small rucksack, but as the late Errol Brown and Hot Chocolate sang, “Everyone’s a Winner.”

So, we have Curious Porter 5.2%, a London-style porter from Curious Brew, Dragon Stout 7.5%,  a strong classic Jamaican stout from the West Indies, and finally Organic Strawberry Fruit Beer 5.1%, marketed under the Sam Smith’s name, but brewed at the former Melbourn Bros Brewery, in Stamford, Lincolnshire.

The latter, in particular, is a rare find, as are Sam Smith’s other beers, of which I noticed Pure Brewed Lager and Pale Ale; but no Yorkshire Stingo, alas. A previous visit unearthed Alt Schlenkerla Märzen; the classic Rauchbier from Bamberg, but sadly none was available on Sunday. It was still a good haul, and I shall be making further visits during the coming two months of enforced Tier 3 lockdown that the county is being forced to endure - thank-you Medway and Sheppey!

After the beer purchases, a takeaway coffee was in order, and here I was spoilt for choice. There was too much of a queue outside TOFS (Tonbridge Old Fire Station), and whilst Verdigris’ canopied seating area, overlooking the Medway looked tempting, in the end I opted for a flat white from the Ye Olde Chequers.

The latter is probably the oldest and certainly one of the most attractive pub in Tonbridge, but it was their ingenuity in turning one of the front doors into a makeshift serving hatch. With no queue, and my coffee retailing at £2.00, the Chequers got my business, and after purchase I sat on a bench by the bus stops enjoying an excellent flat white.  

I could see people on opposite bank of river, doing the same thing – a real sorry state of affairs. I asked myself is this what we have become as a nation, oppressed and cajoled by a government fixated on a single issue, crashing the economy in a vain attempt to suppress a virus that is asymptomatic for most of the population and a mortality rate of around 1 %.

Despite these thoughts, I still enjoyed my foray into Tonbridge, the coffee I drank in the shadow of its ancient castle walls, and the joy behind the beers I stumbled upon, so unexpectedly at Organic Village Market. I also clocked up 10,000 steps over the course of my walk, so who said there wasn’t a silver lining to every cloud? 

* Alternate Title. "What have we become?" or "Every cloud has a sliver lining." Or, this 1967 classic from the Monkees.