A Sparkler is a Device Which Ruins Beer! Discuss..........................

Over the years, various Bloggers have written posts on the often derisive issue of sparklers; that Devil’s invention designed to produce an inch of shaving foam on top of a pint by knocking all the condition out of the beer. A decade or so ago these wretched devices started appearing here in the south; a region where we like our beer un-sullied and served as the brewer intended – well-conditioned and with just a slight loose and fluffy head. Fortunately local resistance saw off this unwelcome northern invasion; an invasion  which I suspect was inspired by marketing and advertising people, more interested in image than in taste and who had probably never drank a decent pint in their lives!

However, it doesn’t pay to let ones guard down as I discovered the other day when I was un-wittingly served a pint pulled through one of these damned things. In the previous post to this, I wrote about a pint of Adnams Southold being totally ruined with all the condition knocked out of it, just to create an inch of unwanted froth on top of the beer. Pure madness, and seeing as the crime took place in a pub which is part of a nationally-owned chain, it seems as if the jokers in the marketing department are still calling the shots.

So what is a sparkle and what does it do? Well according to Wikipedia, “A sparkler is a device that can be attached to the nozzle of a beer engine. Designed rather like a shower-head, beer dispensed through a sparkler becomes aerated and frothy which results in a noticeable head. Some CO2 is carried into the head, resulting in a softer, sweeter flavour due to the loss of normal CO2 acidity.

Spraying the beer into the glass!

There is some dispute about the benefits of a sparkler. There is an argument that the sparkler can reduce the flavour and aroma, especially of the hops, in some beers. The counter argument is that the sparkler takes away harshness. A pub may favour sparklers because the larger head they produce means it does not need to supply as much beer. Generally, breweries in Northern England serve their beers with a sparkler attached and breweries in the South without, but this is by no means definitive.”

I’m not certain exactly when I first came across the dreaded sparkler, but it must have been fairly early in my drinking career. I would imagine the first time I saw these devices in action would have been in association with the bar-mounted cylinder-type electric pumps which were extremely common when I first went up to Manchester as a student, in the autumn of 1973.


Actually it may even have been some 6-8 months previous to that when, whilst still in the Upper VI, I was a member of a school party, on a geology field trip to North Wales. We were based in the small town of Bangor, and at the end of each day in the field, we would write up notes, compare specimens and plan the next day’s activities. The rest of the evening was then our own, so naturally many of us would drift off to explore some of the local pubs. We weren’t supposed to have been drinking, as certainly most of the Lower VI pupils who had travelled with us were under 18. Back then no-one seemed to mind overly,  and the teachers who’d accompanied us weren’t bothered, as long as we behaved ourselves and didn’t come back rolling drunk!

The majority of the local pubs were tied to Greenall Whitley; a brewery I had never heard of, but to our untutored palates, “Grotty Greenalls” didn’t taste too bad. What did come as a revelation was the extensive use of the aforementioned cylinder-type electric pumps. I remember being fascinated by the movement of the piston back and forth along the horizontal glass cylinder; with each strike dispensing an exact half pint into an over-sized glass. The beer was dispensed each time with tremendous force, so much so that it hissed audibly as it was forced into the glass. There was a white plastic collar attached to the end of the spout and this was almost certainly a type of sparkler.

I remember seeing those same collars in use a few years later in some of the few Greater Manchester pubs which had hand pumps at the time. The bar staff had to use a considerable amount of force in order to operate the beer engine in order to pull the beer through, and it was fascinating to watch the milky-looking beer swirling in the glass, before separating out into a thick, creamy head, above the clear, bright beer below. From memory it was mainly the older, “none improved” Boddingtons and Robinsons pubs which still retained hand-pulls; with most of their modernised houses converted to metered, electric pump dispense.

It's Frothy Man!

The beer, in the main was very good. I drank enough of it as a student with a three or four pint session most nights! I’ve no doubt that this type of dispense suited beers such as Boddingtons, Robinsons, Holts, Hydes, Lees, Wilsons and even Greenalls. However there are a great many beers where pulling through a sparkler not only strips them of both character and condition, but also completely alters the overall balance of the beer and hence spoils the taste.

It seems I am not alone in thinking this. Following various visits to Britain, American home-brewer Jim Williams, makes the following observations on his blog: http://caskaleathome.blogspot.co.uk/p/word-on-sparklers.html,:

“In the UK, one pretty much only sees the sparkler in the North of England, then it seems to almost disappear throughout Scotland appearing at some pubs while not at others. I’ve been to the UK many times, but it was always time spent in the south. I was lucky to spend 3 weeks travelling around Northern Britain in the summer of 2010 and got to speak with many Northerners about the subject of the sparkler and the conclusion was interesting!

With the exception of every cellar-man we spoke to, Northerners prefer beer served with a sparkler. Why? Surprisingly, it didn’t have anything to do with how the ale tasted, but how it looked! They prefer the tight creamy head on the beer, rather than the “flat” beer of the south. Thing is, if you taste a beer with and without the sparkler, they are quite different! To my taste, the sparkled beer tastes flat, old and stale, with no hop character in the beer, but possibly more in the aroma. The non sparkled beer tastes fresh, lively and more bitter, yet well rounded. It makes sense; you’re taking a lightly carbonated ale and literally forcing it through tiny holes. Of course, that’s going to knock out carbonation and force hop aroma into the head of the beer. Thing is, if you force that carbonation out of the beer, it’s going to foam like crazy so you have to start with even less carbonation to balance it out!

The cellar-men we spoke to also had different views on how best to serve their ale. In the south, it seemed they were indifferent towards the use of a beer engine vs. straight from the cask in the cellar. Either one was great, and was basically, the same. In the North, without exception, every cellar man preferred the ale straight from the tap in the cellar. As the cellar-man at the Lion in Nottingham proudly stated, “You have to pull the bloody sparkler off upstairs if you want a proper pint!”

Several times, we ordered pints in the North with and without the sparkler just to taste the difference and invited locals to taste with us. They always commented that the sparkled pint “looked nice”. And, we don’t like “flat” beer. Eventually, we were no longer surprised that they “drank with their eyes”. Not once did the discussion revolve around how the beer tasted, and I guess that’s my biggest issue with this discussion.

I have to also speculate that the sparkler is also nothing more than a short cut for the publican to not do his job very well. He can focus less on the conditioning of the ale, and more on how loose or tight that sparkler is on the end of the long swan neck!”

In other words a device to cover up the shortcomings of badly-kept and poorly-conditioned beer! To sum up, sparklers add absolutely nothing to a pint; in fact they ruin it by knocking the condition out of the beer by forcing it into the big foamy head. Northerners drink with their eyes and are far more concerned with how the beer looks in the glass than what it actually tastes like. They use the word “flat” to describe a beer which lacks a thick head, rather than a beer which is devoid of condition.

I therefore rest my case and now challenge any northern drinker who can put forward a counter argument based on science and logic, rather than prejudice and emotion, to do so.

Twixmas 2014

With the exception of 2011 when, for medical reasons, I was off the drink entirely, Christmas 2014 must count as one of the driest Christmases ever – certainly since my mid teens, when I first started drinking! As I described in my previous post, my wife Eileen and I both went down with this flu-like bug which has been doing the rounds.

This unwelcome Christmas visitor was enough to put the mockers on the festivities, and although Eileen was considerably worse than I, the bug has been nasty enough to put me off my beer for the past few days. It’s therefore been a pretty sober affair, with just the one bottle, St Austell Proper Job, opened on Boxing Day, and even that tasted harsh and unduly bitter.

I returned to Kent early yesterday evening, having spent the past few days in Norfolk, visiting my elderly parents. There was precious little time for pub-going or indeed beer-drinking in general, and in fact I only had the one pint during the three days I was away.

The Showground, Norwich

I based myself at a Premier Inn, adjacent to Norwich Showground; as the fishing lodge I normally stay at was full booked over the Christmas- New Year period. The accommodation was fine, being warm, comfortable and quiet and yes, Lenny Henry was right – I got a good night’s sleep on both the nights I was there.  As is normally the case, there was a pub-cum-restaurant adjacent to the Premier Inn. Formerly known as the Showground, this Brewer’s Fayre establishment now goes under the rather strange name of Table- Table.

Arriving tired and hungry on the evening of 27^th December I was in no mood for venturing further a field in search of sustenance and refreshment, so applying the old adage of “any port in a storm”, I ventured inside. It was decorated and furnished in that modern, minimalist style, but without being too sparsely furnished. The menu seemed tempting and reasonably priced, and the sight of a hand-pump on the bar dispensing Adnams Bitter, provided further re-assurance that this could be a pleasant place to spend the evening.

A "Proper Pie", but a decidedly less proper pint!

I was shown to a table and shortly after the waitress came over and asked what I would like to drink. “A pint of Adnams”, was my reply, and I sat their in anticipation of a glass of Southwold’s finest. The alarm bells should have been ringing when my pint arrived sporting a huge frothy head; definitely NOT the way to serve Adnams! My worst fears were confirmed upon raising the glass to my lips where, after fighting my way through an inch of froth, I discovered a lack-lustre pint, devoid of life, with all the condition forced out of the beer and into the unwanted head because the beer had been pulled through a wretched sparkler! To add insult to injury, the beer was served freezing cold.

Even though I spent five years living in Manchester, I fail to see any virtue in these miserable devices; apart from ruining a perfectly good pint! To use a sparkler on a northern beer is bad enough, but at least some Lancashire and Yorkshire beers are brewed to be served in this fashion. To use this devil’s device on one of East Anglia’s finest beers is nothing short of sacrilege and shows an appalling lack of knowledge, and understanding about beer, on behalf of the pub’s management! I will return to the subject of sparklers in a later post, as I am still incensed by this act of ignorance and barbarity perpetrated on my pint.

"Proper Pie" in close-up

Fortunately, the beef and merlot pie I ordered turned out to be a “proper pie” in as much that the meat and gravy were totally encased in pastry rather than the lazy “modern” interpretation of a pie, which is meat and gravy cooked and presented in an oven-proof dish, with a soggy layer of shop-brought puff-pastry on top. Such abominations are “casseroles with lids” and NOT proper pies!

 

I enjoyed my meal, but my flat, icy pint of ruined Southwold Bitter was not an experience I wished to repeat. I opted instead for a dessert plus a coffee, and at least the pub didn’t manage to cock that drink option up!

As things turned out, that was the only pint I had during my time in the county. The following evening I met up with my sister and her boyfriend for a meal, at the Romany Rye; the local JDW outlet in Dereham, where they live. I have been in this particular Spoons on several occasions and would class it as definitely one of the better ones. Tempted though I was by one of the porters on sale, I decided to play things safe and stick with a soft-drink; especially as I would have to drive back to the hotel later along unfamiliar, poorly-lit and rather icy roads. Besides, I was still feeling bunged up and this, coupled with a mouth which tasted like the bottom of a parrot’s cage, meant my beer appreciation faculties wouldn’t be functioning at all well.

So tonight being New Year’s Eve I‘d better have a pint or three later on. It’s not as though I’m short of beer either, as what with all the pre-Christmas stocking up I did, coupled with the various bottles I received as presents  from both friends and family, I’ve got enough beer to float the proverbial battleship!

So cheers, to one and all, and all the very best for 2015!

Christmas 2014

It was a bit of a subdued start to this year’s Christmas festivities, with both Eileen and I succumbing to the flu-bug which has been going around. I normally manage to avoid catching these things, but this occasion I fell victim to a double-pronged attack. A work colleague had been coughing and spluttering for several days prior to Christmas Eve, but Eileen had also been suffering a day or two before as well. Come Christmas Eve, she was feeling petty poorly, and come the big day was in the full grip of this rather unpleasant bug.

She managed to cook Christmas dinner though; much to our son’s relief, but took to her bed quite early that evening. By this time I too was starting to feel the full effects, but after a rather restless night I have to say I do feel somewhat better.

The down side of all this, of course, was that feeling under the weather severely curtailed my beer drinking. Having accumulated quite a stash of bottles during the months preceding Christmas, it was rather a shame to be unable to enjoy then as much as I’d planned, but they will obviously keep for future days.

Christmas Eve itself began with us knocking off from work at midday and heading down to the village pub, the Little Brown Jug, for a few pre-Christmas  drinks. I had taken the precaution of travelling into work by train that day, but  in the end I only stopped for a couple in the Jug. The pub is tied to Greene King, and whilst it does offer a non-GK beer in the form of Larkin’s Traditional, brewed locally just a few miles up the road, I was after something stronger than this 3.4% ABV session beer.

An alert via Social Media, had informed me that the Humphrey Bean, our local JDW outlet in Tonbridge had both Thornbridge Jaipur and Hog’s Back Advent Ale on tap so, as reporters from the News of the World used to say, I made my excuses and left. Arriving back in Tonbridge on the 13.44 train, I first grabbed a rather tasty sausage roll from our local independent butchers, before heading along to the Humphrey Bean. I had looked at the snack menu at the Jug; the pub has a reputation for being pricey, but I thought that £7 to £8 for a sandwich really was extracting the urine. Where is the justification in charging such prices, just because there’s a handful of crisps and a few sprigs of rocket adorning the plate? Still, the pub is in an affluent area and was busy with both drinkers and diners, so who am I to argue?

Spoons was less busy than I had feared, with minimal waiting time at the bar, and I was soon ensconced at a table in the corner, enjoying my rather splendid pint of Jaipur. My peaceful contemplation was shattered by the appearance of a couple of my near neighbours, who asked if they could join me. I of course said yes, and we had an interesting and pleasant chat about various developments in the road, including the thorny issue of parking. Living quite close to the station does mean commuters parking their cars locally, in order to avoid the fees charged at the railway car park. This would not be a problem if they parked sensibly, but many of them don’t and the road round the corner from us, which is where my neighbours live, suffers particularly badly in this respect.

I was tempted to stay for another beer; either Jaipur again or perhaps the Advent Ale instead, but I had a small amount of last-minute shopping to get, plus I wanted to get home to see how Eileen was. I therefore again made my excuses and left.

The bug had started to kick in that evening, and given the beer I’d already had at lunchtime, I restricted my Christmas Eve sampling to just two beers; a bottle of Pilsner Urquell and one which I picked up at Morrison’s at the weekend. Madness Night Boat, a delightfully rich velvet London Porter, brewed by Portobello Brewery. With cappuccino, chocolate, hazelnut and dark fruit aromas, it was certainly a most enjoyable beer.  

 

Christmas Day dawned bright and cold, and we both got up fairly early; Eileen to put the turkey in the oven and me, just because I felt like it. The beer drinking as definitely subdued though, and rather than the extensive beer and food pairings I had planned, I only managed three beers over the course if the entire day.

A nice light, but flavoursome and refreshing beer in the form of Pilsner Urquell again, kicked off proceedings and, as in previous years, Fuller’s 1845 proved the perfect accompaniment  for our Christmas turkey dinner.  So much for my other proposed selections which included St Austell Proper Job, Chimay Blue and Imperial Russian Stout; the latter a 12% ABV monster from Eddie Gadd’s Ramsgate Brewery. The Russian Stout was chosen to accompany the cheese course, but we never got round to cheese. Perhaps we will today? 

In the evening our son, Matthew called round to visit a friend, leaving Eileen and I to doze off in front of the tele and the fire. I wasn’t paying much attention to the usual Christmas offerings of soaps, repeats and yet more “Celebrity Talent Shows” on the box, preferring instead to fire up the new Tablet device I received for Christmas and explore its possibilities.

I did have one final beer before going to bed; the small bottle of Chimay Red proving a good beer to finish the evening on. However, the ultimate irony came in the form of the best drink of the day being a large glass of water which helped to re-hydrate me following Christmas dinner. Whether things will be any different today remains to be seen!

More Bangs For Your Buck?

Earlier today we were Christmas shopping in one of Sainsbury’s larger outlets. Pleased to find that although the store was busy, (media types are describing today as “Panic Saturday”), there was still room to move around without getting pushed and shoved, and virtually no queuing at the checkouts. I was even more pleased to pick up a bargain in the beer section.

For the past couple of weeks, Sainsbury’s have been running a promotion of Fuller’s, and other various other brewers’ beers, whereby on certain lines you can pick up three bottles for £5. I was very surprised to see the 8.5% ABV Golden Pride included in this offer, but of course had to take advantage of it.

Obviously a beer for sipping and savouring, rather than pouring down your neck, this barley-wine strength beer is a good choice for the Festive Season, and the colder months in general. The brewery describes it as a “Premium, superior-strength bottled ale, bursting with flavours of sweet orange oil and toasted grains. At 8.5% ABV, it’s to be savoured like a fine wine.” A very apt description which I wouldn’t disagree with and I look forward to sampling a bottle of this excellent beer over the Christmas period.

With a "Best Before Date" of May 2016, it’s well worth getting a few bottles in for laying down, but I wonder what the anti-drink brigade will make of a promotion for a beer which falls into the high duty band; a tax bracket which was originally introduced to discourage drinkers from high ABV beers such as Carlsberg Special and Tennent’s Super!

Christmas Present - and a Few Ghosts of Christmas Past!

Like many CAMRA branches up and down the country, West Kent CAMRA holds an annual Christmas Dinner. This has become something of a tradition in recent years, and is always something to look forward to.

Christmas 2014 - Royal Oak, Tunbridge Wells

This year’s event took place at the Royal Oak in Tunbridge Wells, where a group of 14 of us were well looked after, both beer and food-wise, by landlady Yvonne and her team. I went for leek and potato soup to start with, followed by the traditional roast turkey option, with all the trimmings. Others went for the equally festive salmon fillet. The photo below, was taken after we had all finished, so doesn’t really do justice to the splendour of the food that was placed in front of us. As well as the mains, the table was positively groaning under the weight from various dishes of seasonal vegetables which formed the accompaniment. Dessert was a choice of Christmas pudding with brandy butter, chocolate mousse or summer pudding.

There was plenty of beer, of course, to help wash the food down, and Yvonne had provided a good selection for us. Alongside pub stalwart Harvey’s Best, there were beers from 1648, Larkins, Pig & Porter plus Rockin Robin. I stuck with the “dark side”, going for Red Spider Rye 5.5% ABV from Pig & Porter, plus my favourite dark ale at this time of year; Larkins Porter 5.2% ABV. There were good reports too for Blizzard of Oz, a 4.5% ABV Winter Warmer from Rockin Robin. We all finished suitably full to the brim, so many thanks to the Royal Oak for hosting the event.

Christmas Fayre at its best!

In the course of writing this article I thought it would be interesting to look back at a few Christmas meals from years past. The criteria for selecting a pub are first and foremost the variety and quality of the ale, closely followed by that of the food. Whether or not the pub can accommodate a party which varies from around 15 to 20 persons, on a busy weekend is another important factor, as is can the pub be easily reached by public transport. There are not that many pubs in the branch area which match these criteria, but here is a list of those pubs which have hosted our Christmas meal, along with a few photographs and comments.

Christmas 2008 - Rose & Crown, Halstead

Rose & Crown, Halstead.This two-bar free house hosted our meals for several years on the trot. The last one I recall was in 2009, and I think the first one was back in 2004. The 402 bus which runs between Tunbridge Wells and Bromley carried us to and from Halstead, which lies on the top of the North Downs. A 20 minute walk up from Knockholt station also provides an alternative means of reaching the pub. In many ways the Rose & Crown was the ideal venue, as it boasted a separate saloon bar-cum-dining room, but when Bob the popular and affable landlord left, the pub seemed to go downhill. This provided an excuse for the branch to look elsewhere, and a pub right on the southern fringe of the area was selected.  

Brecknock Arms, Bells Yew Green. So far as I recall we held just one Christmas meal at this small, attractive Harvey’s pub, which is conveniently situated just 5 minutes walk away from Frant station. Two events slightly marred the occasion; the first was licensees Joe and Charlotte were due to leave the trade in the New Year, so there was a tinge of sadness in the air. The second concerned the pub’s heating, which had come out in sympathy with the departing tenants by packing up! We therefore arrived on a bitterly cold

Christmas Ale 2010 - Brecknock Arms

December day to discover an equally cold pub. The open fire did its best to provide some heat; especially for those sitting down that end of the room, and the excellent Harvey’s Old and draught Christmas Ale also helped to keep the rest of us warm, but it was a meal that was memorable for all the wrong reasons.



 
I’m not certain what happened the following Christmas, as I was indisposed at the time. I’ve a feeling an informal gathering may have taken place at the Royal Oak, Tunbridge Wells; but would be grateful if someone could verify this. There was no meal for Christmas 2012, mainly due to a failure to decide on a suitable venue in time, but come 2013 a rising star came on the local pub scene in the form of the Windmill at Sevenoaks Weald. Licensees Matthew and Emma had succeeded in reviving the fortunes of what had become a failing village pub. Owners, Greene King had been keen to dispose of it, and rumours abounded that the pub was to be sold a private dwelling.

Dining Room - Windmill, Sevenoaks Weald

Fortunately this turned out not to be the case, and in a relatively short space of time the Windmill became a “destination pub”, offering a wide range of mainly local beer, good food, served in convivial and attractive surroundings. It therefore became the obvious choice for Christmas 2013. Like the Rose & Crown before, the Windmill is easily reached by bus, with services from both Tonbridge and Sevenoaks converging on the pub within about half hour of each other. Also, for some reason best known to the bus company, there is a better service to Weald on Sunday, rather than on Saturday – bizarre!

Last year then saw a return to form for the branch Christmas meal; something which continued this year at the Royal Oak. There is though one much earlier meal which I want to look back on. This, like that at the Brecknock, is also tinged with sadness, but this was not evident at the time. The Wheatsheaf at Marsh Green was a former branch pub of the year; in fact I believe it won this award several times. A multi-roomed pub, heated by welcoming open fires during winter, serving a wide selection of interesting and often hard to obtain cask beers, topped by a menu of appetising and well-presented dishes, the Wheatsheaf had everything going for it. Everything that is apart from its remoteness. Situated in a tiny village to the south-west of Edenbridge, at the far west of the county and close to the border with Surrey, the Wheatsheaf was virtually impossible to reach by public transport..

Christmas 2002 - Wheatsheaf, Marsh Green

This unfortunately was the pub’s Achilles ’ heel and ultimately its downfall, for alas the Wheatsheaf ceased trading about 18 months ago and has now become a private dwelling. The last photo in the series shows some much younger looking West Kent CAMRA branch members, including yours truly. The photo was taken in 2002, and shows a group of us relaxing in the pub’s conservatory restaurant after an excellent Christmas meal. From memory, we travelled to Edenbridge by train, and then by a couple of pre-booked taxis to Marsh Green. It was therefore not a horrendously difficult journey, but one which did require a certain amount of forward planning. During daylight hours it was possible to walk to Marsh Green, either along the roads (not recommended), or in dry weather across country – provided one kept an eye out for the bull which a local farmer insisted on keeping in the same field crossed by the public footpath!

This is not the time or the place to discuss the reasons for the Wheatsheaf’s sad demise, but like at least one other pub in the area the attitude of the local plod with regard to targeting drivers on the way home didn’t help. Even if one is safely under the drink-drive limit it is still an unnerving experience being pulled over and asked to provide a sample of breath. I remember being a passenger in a friend’s car one night, when we were stopped in Edenbridge High Street on the way back from Marsh Green. Plod had certainly pulled out all the stops that night, as they had the High Street coned off on both directions, and were pulling over everything on four wheels! Fortunately my friend passed the breathalyser, but I wonder how many other law-abiding, pub-going drivers have been scared off by these “bully-boy” police tactics?

This concludes my look back on a few past Christmas meals, but in the meantime I hope there are many more such feasts to come.

No More "Disgusted - Tunbridge Wells". Pt.One

In my last post I put the blame for my, at times, hermit-like existence on the paucity of decent pubs in my home town of Tonbridge. As I described, there is little, pub-wise, to tempt me out in the evening, so most nights I am at home, stuck in front of the computer with just the odd bottle of beer (decent beer though!), to keep me company. I did say that if I lived in Tunbridge Wells, things would undoubtedly be different, and it is this noticeable difference that I want to explore in this article. With just over four miles separating the two towns, they might just as well be on separate worlds!

Summer evening crowds in Tunbridge Wells

Unlike its near neighbour and the town which it was named after, Tunbridge Wells has an abundance of excellent pubs and bars. Places which will delight the beer drinker and pub lover at every turn. If I lived in the town I certainly would be going out a lot more. I might end up poorer in pocket, but my pub-going and beer drinking experiences would be that much richer; certainly a lot more than they are now!

I’m not sure how this dichotomy came about, but for those readers who are unfamiliar with the town, it’s worth taking a look at Tunbridge Wells and its excellent drinking scene. Royal Tunbridge Wells, to give the town its official title, has a rather snooty, upmarket image; at least in popular folklore. However, the glory days of its late Victorian and Edwardian heyday have long faded, and whilst it remains a pleasant and thriving place, like many towns in the 21^st Century, Tunbridge Wells is not without its share of problems. Being slowly choked to death by relentlessly increasing traffic is amongst the foremost of these, and unfortunately there is no easy or quick fix to the curse of the motor car, but leaving this aside let us examine what the town has to offer in the way of decent places to drink.

We’ll assume that the visitor is arriving in the town by train, as this is by far the most sensible, and obviously the only safe and lawful option for anyone intending to enjoy a few beers there. The town’s main station, and indeed now the only mainline option, is the former South Eastern station on Mount Pleasant. Originally known as Tunbridge Wells Central, in order to distinguish it from the London, Brighton & South Coast Railway’s West station, (now home to the Spa Valley Railway Heritage Line), this stop on the London to Hastings line is conveniently situated right in the town centre. The new arrival will therefore have choicer as to which direction to head off in.

Sankey's

I recommend turning left out of the station and ascending the steep and aptly named Mount Pleasant. At the top of the hill continue across the traffic lights in the same direction, until you come to a pedestrianised area known as Fiveways. This is opposite the town’s main shopping centre (Royal Victoria Place) and the pedestrianised precinct in front of it. From here head up via Mount Ephraim Road to the top of London Road, on the edge of the Common, from where you will be rewarded with a view over the town below. You will also have worked up a king-sized thirst, which can be slaked at the excellent and slightly off-beat Sankey's; virtually opposite the defunct former Kent & Sussex hospital, which is now the site of a major new housing development.

Although best known for its highly regarded fish restaurant, the upstairs section of  Sankey's (the one at street level), is actually a thriving and very popular pub. The Sankey family have been in the pub game a long time, and whilst Guy Sankey has now handed over the reins to his son Matthew, he still takes an active interest in the business. Back in the 1960’s, Guy’s father, Dick ran the historic and unspoilt George & Dragon at nearby Speldhurst; a fascinating old building which dates back to the 13^th Century. Today, Matthew has expanded the seafood side of the business, with the establishment of a traditional fishmonger, close to the station, and the opening of a champagne and oyster bar in the historic Pantiles area of the town. (More about that later).

Interior Sankey's

To return to Sankey's, the pub boasts one of the best and most extensive collections of old original enamel advertising signs I know of. Several of these were rescued, by Guy, from the late lamented Hole in the Wall; a unique tobacconist-cum-gentleman’s smoking salon which boasted a separate bar hidden behind a curtain at the back of the shop. The pub sadly closed back in the 1980’s, but along with the metal signs, Guy also managed to retrieve a couple of magnificent cut-glass, pub mirrors. These feature downstairs in the restaurant. 

Sankey’s has always has a reputation for good beer, and was almost certainly the first pub in the area to stock a range of imported Belgian and German beers. It also serves cask beers from Goachers and Tonbridge breweries, plus craft keg from Brew Dog, along with various fruit and other speciality beers from Belgium. With open fires in winter, and a south-facing terraced beer garden in summer, Sankey's is deservedly popular amongst discerning drinkers in the town.

Beer selection at Fuggles

Sankey’s is the farthest point north on our crawl, so the visitor now needs to partially re-trace his or her steps and head toward Grosvenor Road. A short cut via Mount Ephraim and Hanover Roads leads in the right direction, towards Fuggles Beer Café, the next stop on the tour. Despite only being open just over a year, Fuggles has quickly established a reputation for offering one of the finest selections of beer in town. Decorated in a minimalist style, with exposed ductwork and RSJ’s in the ceiling, this former shop has up to six cask ales on sale, plus around a dozen craft-keg beers. Tonbridge Copper Nob appears to be the regular “house cask”, with Cristal Pilsner the "house lager". Regular craft offerings include beers from the likes of Beavertown, Burning Sky and Kernel together with a smattering of Belgian beers. At the time of writing Larkins Porter takes pride of place amongst the cask ales. As if the draught beers were not enough, Fuggles boasts around 75 different bottled beers in its fridges, and a draught cider, which varies from time to time, is also available.

Tasting Rack at Fuggles

The discerning spirit drinker is not forgotten either with a range of around 15 gins and 20 whiskies and bourbons; all chosen for their taste, quality and provenance. The food offerings centre around items such as pork pies, scotch eggs, various cured meats (Charcuterie), plus a small, but unrivalled selection of British and Irish cheeses. A selection of sandwiches, supplied fresh daily from Kett’s Kitchen are also available, as are various combinations of cheese, pork products and cured meats. Speaking of combinations, Fuggles offers tasting racks consisting of 3 x 1/3 pt tasters. Owner/manager Alex Greig and his team deserve to be congratulated for opening one of the best beer outlets around, and their boast that “We work with some of the best breweries and brewers our mighty fine Island has to offer along with some of the best Belgian beers we can get our hands on!” is no idle one. Fuggles Beer Café therefore is a definite “must visit” on any beer lover’s list.

 

JDW's Opera House Tunbridge Wells

Turn left out of Fuggles and head back down towards the station. On your left, before you reach the 1930’s art deco Town Hall, you will hardly fail to notice the ornate exterior of the former Tunbridge Wells Opera House. Now a JDW outlet, still called by its former name, the Opera House is well worth stepping inside for a closer look. Carefully restored to bring out its best and most interesting features, the drinker is given the choice of two bars; one facing the stage and the other, actually on the boards themselves. Standing here and looking back and up at the ornate circle and dress-circle, with their ornate and rather opulent fittings; it is easy to be transported back to the Opera House’s Edwardian heyday, when the stars of the day would perform in front of a packed house. Definitely worth a look in; even if you are not a Wetherspoons fan!

Interior - Opera House

After leaving the Opera House, continue back down Mount Pleasant and past the station towards the High Street and the lower and most historic part of the town. We will break here for the time being, and continue this tour at a later date. 

 

Footnote: Royal Tunbridge Wells (often shortened to Tunbridge Wells) is a large town in the west of Kent, about 40 miles (64 km) south-east of central London by road, 34.5 miles (55.5 km) by rail. The town is close to the border of the county of East Sussex. It is situated at the northern edge of the High Weald, the sandstone geology of which is exemplified by the rock formations at the Wellington Rocks and High Rocks.

The town came into being as a spa in the Restoration period and had its heyday as a tourist resort under Beau Nash when the Pantiles and its chalybeate spring attracted visitors who wished to take the waters. The town has a population of around 56,500 and is the administrative centre of Tunbridge Wells Borough.

In the United Kingdom Royal Tunbridge Wells has a reputation as being the archetypal conservative "Middle England" town, a stereotype that is typified by the fictional letter-writer "Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells". Source- Wikipedia.

I Need To Get Out More??

“I need to get out more.” I reached that conclusion a few Thursday’s ago, when I attended the “Meet the Brewer” evening at a local pub. I also came to the same conclusion after going along to my local CAMRA Branch’s AGM.

OK, Tunbridge Wells Constitutional Club isn’t really my cup of tea, but meeting up for a drink with friends is and afterwards,  as we sat in the cellar bar at the newly opened Pantiles Tap, I realised this was something I miss, and that I really do need to get out more.

If I lived in Tunbridge Wells, I undoubtedly would, as drinkers in the town really are spoiled for choice in terms of decent beer and equally decent places in which to drink it. Tonbridge is the complete opposite, with an almost complete dearth of decent pubs, and an with most offering a choice between either Harvey’s or  Doombar, there's nothing much to tempt me out.

Alright, that isn’t strictly the case; there are a number of outlets selling Tonbridge Brewery beers now, plus the odd oasis offering something different. I hasten to add that there is nothing wrong with Harvey’s; a beer that has always counted amongst my favourites, but whilst it is easy to handle, with a propensity to drop bright quickly, it is a beer which benefits from a bit of judicious looking after, especially in the cellar department.

Unfortunately, the proposed micro-pub for Tonbridge, seems to have fallen through, thereby dashing hopes there would be somewhere to enjoy a decent pint in the company of sensible and mature adults, away from the Sky Sports, karaoke and other noisy and unwanted distractions which mar so many of the town’s pubs.

With little in the immediate vicinity to tempt me out, most evenings I’m happy to sit in front of my computer, tapping away at the keyboard, composing my latest blog post. I find it relaxing, and with the added bonus of a glass or two of something decent to drink, it’s not a bad way to spend an evening. However, I do miss human company, and whilst I’m engaging with colleagues all day at work, it’s nice at times to relax in the company of like-minded individuals.

So what about the family, I hear you ask? Well, we all like our own space, with my lovely wife Eileen watching the latest celebrity nonsense on TV downstairs, and son Matthew tapping away on his own computer. With all three of us tied to busy and demanding jobs, and with Matthew not getting home until 7pm, there isn’t a huge amount of the evening left by the time we’ve finished eating and washed up.

Matt and I did venture down to the Punch & Judy with my friend Eric, last Friday; a pub I have written about before. The Punch has changed hands yet again; it’s a popular enough pub, but in recent years it has had a succession of different landlords. I’m not sure whether this is due to high rents, or if the beer tie is too restrictive, but I hope the new incumbents manage to make a go of things and stay a bit longer.

It was busy when we arrived and we had trouble finding a seat, but once settled there was no escaping the overly-loud music blaring from the speakers strategically sited around the pub. Now  much as I like Fleetwood Mac and the Rolling Stones, I don’t want them blasted in my ear at a volume which forces me to stick my head so close to my companions that I'm practically in their faces in order to hear what they’re saying. Equally I don’t want to shout in order to make myself heard!

To be fair, the barman did honour my request to turn the volume down, but it wasn’t by much, and I do question exactly for whose benefit the music was playing? It certainly wasn’t for my benefit or that of my companions, and I expect there were quite a few others in the pub who felt the same. I will go back, but if I find music blasting out like that again I will make a point of walking out.

I do think sometimes that people go into the pub trade with a blinkered idea of what their customers actually want – well I’ve got news for them this customer wants to talk and engage with people and not be subjected to ear-splitting music, karaoke, or having to watch over-paid and under-talented prima donnas kicking a football around, as dished up by Sky Sports!

I seem to have answered my own question, as to why I don’t get out more!!