Seamless rail travel in the south-east, just got even easier

Major infrastructure projects often come in for more than their fair share of criticism, much of which is undeserved. Providing they are sensible and properly thought out schemes, whose purpose is to enhance the common good, then they are fine with me, as long as they are affordable. What we don’t want, as a nation, is some useless vanity project, aimed at “bigging up” its instigator or principle proponent, and unfortunately we have had to deal with a few of these, over the years. Examples of the latter include John Prescott’s Thames Gateway scheme, Boris Johnson’s Garden Bridge across the River Thames, or the so-called “Boris Island” – an artificial island in the Thames Estuary, constructed to accommodate a new airport, for London.

Leaving aside the vanity of politicians, and their over-blown “puff pieces” we have seen several major infrastructure projects come to fruition in recent years which, whilst running way over budget, have in general led to major improvements in people’s lives, especially when it comes to traveling. I am thinking here of the Channel Tunnel Rail Link, Thames Link, and most recently the Elizabeth Line – formerly known as Crossrail.

These three projects all came in late and over-budget – sometimes way over budget, but the first two have already proved their worth, and from what I have seen, the third looks set to deliver enormous benefits for people living in London and the south-east. It is the Elizabeth Line I want to talk about here, but before doing so it’s worth looking back for a moment at the comment made by my own, late and very dear father, when he first learned of the plans for a high-speed railway, linking the Channel Tunnel with the capital. “British Rail never built a railway; they only closed them.”

Dad’s comment still tickles me to this day, and whilst to a certain extent he was right, the CTRL was eventually constructed, albeit in two stage, and has been a great success. We should all be aware of NIMBYism, although I’m sure the great 19^th Century railway pioneers, came up against the same thing. Moving on, last spring I wrote a piece about a rail journey to Cambridge, that Matthew and I undertook. It involved what many like to call “seamless travel” and for us involved just one change of train, and no change of station.

Last Friday, father and son made another almost seamless trip, which whilst involving a couple of changes of train, still did away with the hassle of physically changing terminal stations in the capital. By making use of the recently completed Elizabeth Line, we were able to travel from Tonbridge to Henley-on-Thames, without physically changing stations. Want to learn how? then read on below.

First, take the 09.48 train from Tonbridge to London Bridge (LBG) arriving at 10.20. At LBG change platforms (time for a quick sausage roll from Greggs) and take the 10.31 Thameslink service to Farringdon (3 stops). Take the lengthy escalator down to the Elizabeth Line and wait for the next Reading-bound service. We caught the 11.00 train through to Twyford, which we arrived at an hour later. There was time for a quick cup of coffee, before boarding the 12.15 two-car, GWR shuttle service, to Henley – just two stops in between, and a 12.27 arrival in this attractive, and well-to-do, Thames-side town.

Easy peasy, as the kids don’t say, but a quick, efficient, and pleasant journey, and all without having to get from one mainline London terminal to another. There was just one hassle, and it’s quite a big one if you’re male (am I allowed to use that term, these days?), of a certain age, and you’ve spent several hours enjoying the local beverages, served in a provincial town. THERE ARE NO TOILETS ON ELIZABETH LINE TRAINS!!

The outward journey wasn’t a problem, and there was time for a quick pee, as well as that welcome cup of coffee at Twyford, and I even managed the return journey without incident, after squeezing one out at Henley station, but it is a factor to take account of. I suppose it you were desperate, you could alight (strange term) at one of the larger intermediate stations, such as Maidenhead or Slough, and then wait for the next eastbound service, but it is worth remembering.

It's also worth remembering that the toilets (both Ladies & Gents), at London Bridge, are the other side of the ticket barrier. When travelling with a “through ticket” I’m always slightly concerned the machine is going to swallow my ticket, and leave me stranded thereby making me, in effect, a fare dodger.  “The machine withheld my ticket, Mr Revenue Inspector.” “A likely tale, sir. That’s a hundred pound fine, plus the cost of the journey, if you please.”

In such circumstances, approach one of the staff on the ticket barrier, and ask to be let out, and then back in once you’ve accomplished your mission.” It could save you a lot of hassle, a lot of money, and besmirched your otherwise impeccable character. With tips and advice like this, I ought to become my own travel correspondent!