Out of the doldrums

After what seems like several weeks in the doldrums, enlivened only by a gorgeous day in early October, spent walking the final stretch of the North Downs Way, I’ve finally got a few topics to write about, that are worthy of the blog. I made that initial comment because waiting in for various tradesmen to turn up – the latest being a BT engineer, I was beginning to conclude that this was NOT how I intended to be spending my two additional days off from work. I suppose though that we all suffer the un-punctual trades person, and that feeling that it’s not worth starting something else, because as soon as you do, that engineer/technician/ tree-surgeon (delete as appropriate), that you’ve been waiting all morning for, will almost certainly be ringing your doorbell.

That was the exact same scenario last Thursday, but although the BT engineer tuned up within the last half hour of his allocated, 8am-1pm time-slot, he finished fairly quickly, despite having to run a new fibre-optical cable from the nearest telegraph pole, across to Bailey Towers. I’m not sure that the download speeds are any quicker (they probably are), but for a small increase in our monthly charge, we now have super hi-speed broadband, available via wi-fi, in every room of the house.

His rapid completion of the task meant the afternoon was available, which compensated somewhat for a frustrating morning. I gave Mrs PBT’s a quick call, to see whether she wanted collecting from work (she didn’t), which was then my cue to head down into Tonbridge – ostensibly to pick up a pre-ordered prescription from the local pharmacy, but really because I fancied a pint! A walk in the pleasant, mid-autumn sunshine, would also provide a tonic, to lift the gloom of the past 10 days.

Fuggles Beer Café was my destination, and after a brief visit to my building society (use it, or lose it), to withdraw some cash, and a rather longer visit to the somewhat chaotic pharmacy, I strolled into Fuggles shortly after 4pm. A Green Hop ale was my quest, and I found it in the form of Green Hop Pale Ale from Gun Brewery. Pitching itself as a small batch beer, this 5.1% beer proved a well-balanced example of a GHA, with a subtle under-current of resinous hops, set against a pleasing blend of juicy malt and bitterness.

I only had the one, despite being solely tempted by the Smokescreen, a 5.5% smoked porter from Arbor Brewing; the reason being I’d agreed to pick Matthew up, after work, a task that obviously meant driving. I’m too good to that boy, but me collecting him did mean us having our dinner at a more civilised hour, than if we’d waited for him to make his own way home.

The following day, the pair of us found ourselves in Maidstone, this time on a bit of a reconnaissance mission. Matthew has been asked to cover at the Maidstone branch of the hardware store he works at, and wanted to check out the parking facilities, as well as acquainting himself with the town’s notorious one-way system. I offered to sit in the passenger seat whilst he drove us there and back, more for reassurance than anything else – I told you I was too good to him!

After parking at the town’s main shopping centre, now known as the Mall, following spells as the Stoneborough and then the Chequers Centre, we called in at the Maidstone branch of his store, for a quick chat with the assistant manager. The latter also directed us to the small parking area behind the shop, where there are a handful of reserved places, available on a first-come-first-served basis. All seemed OK, and Matthew too familiarised himself with the lane switching at the heart of Maidstone’s notorious gyratory system.

We took a quick look at some of the Mall’s stores, before heading off a shop close to the town’s other, but much smaller sopping development – Fremlin Walk. Located on the site of the old Fremlin’s Brewery, there isn’t really much to see here, apart from the ornate arched gateway to the former plant, which is the only part left standing from what was once the largest brewery in Kent. Whitbread were the villains here, as they were in so many other parts of the country, but a real shame, as Fremlin’s Elephant Ales were well-liked, and enjoyed a strong local following amongst Kent drinkers.

Walking back to the car, I suggested calling in for a pint, as there was a pub, close by that I particularly wanted to visit. I was actually inspired to visit Ye Olde Thirsty Pig, after reading a recent post from BRAPA, aka Simon Everitt, with the acronym standing for the British Real Ale Pub Adventure. For those not in the know Simon is following in the footsteps of legendary pub-tickers Retired Martin and Pubmeister, both of whom have “completed” the Good Beer Guide by visiting every single pub in the book, but being somewhat younger than the two “completists,” Simon still has a fair way to go.

To save any doubt, the banner headline on Simon’s blog proudly proclaims, “Visiting every pub in the CAMRA Good Beer Guide before I die!” but the burning question is will the GBG be around that long? Possibly, seeing as the soon to be published 2023 edition is the 50^th in a long line, stretching back to 1974. Simon also has time on his side, as he is somewhat younger than his two compatriots, but regardless of age and changing fashions, Simon’s observations on pub life, his description of the characters he encounters in the pubs he visits, and the trials and tribulations he goes through to reach many of them (he doesn’t have a car), make fascinating and often, highly amusing reading. Check out Simon’s blog, here.

BRAPA ended up at Ye Olde Thirsty Pig, during a recent “ticking” expedition to Kent, and as alluded to above, his description of the pub, together with some of the photos, prompted me to take a further look. The strange thing is I lived in Maidstone during the first half of the 1980’s, but during those five years, never knowingly visited Ye Olde Thirsty Pig. This may have been due to the place operating as the Minstrel Wine Bar, 40 years ago, although looking back through some old local pub guides (to check on its original name), I read that cask ale was stocked.

The “Pig” dates from around 1430 and is reputed to be the third oldest building in Maidstone. It certainly has plenty of timber beams, sloping floors and various nooks and crannies to prove it. There are a couple of low-ceilinged rooms downstairs, whilst upstairs, which is where the toilets are located the ceilings are low, but upstairs they are high and vaulted. The entrance from Knightrider Street leads directly into the small bar, and as described in Simon’s blog, it appears the centre of pub life.

BRAPA was right about the bar being lined with a collection of rather boisterous folk sat uncomfortably close together on adjacent stools, but Matthew and I still managed to get a look at the pumps. I opted for a pint of Black Prince from Wantsum Brewery, a 3.9% dark mild, whilst Matthew went for a half of Paulaner – he was driving, after all. Being quiet and retiring folk, we escaped to the equally small room at the rear, a move that enabled us to get away from the rather loud, know-all, sat at the bar. He’d already asked if I was one of those “CAMRA types,” because of the interest I’d shown in the beer line-up, but not wishing to engage him further I side-stepped the question.

I’m like my late father, in as much as not suffering fools gladly, especially those who like the sound of their own voice rather too much. Our “expert” at the bar, was already promoting Johnson for PM, less than 24 hours after the last Tory incumbent had tendered her resignation. Apparently, he “got Brexit done,” a statement which I’m not going to pursue further here, but as a prime example of the typical pub bore, this individual took some beating.

Fortunately, the layout of the Thirsty Pig is such that it is easy to escape from such people, and with a further two rooms on the first floor, it is easy to get away. You just have to take care on the steep staircases, especially when carrying your drinks up there. The barmaid was quite chatty, as we discovered, when returning our glasses, and gave the impression she enjoyed working there. She said that the pub was popular with younger people, although she wasn’t quite so keen being there, late at night. When asked why, she claimed the building is haunted!

This aside, I’m pleased to have finally made my acquaintance with Ye Olde Thirsty Pig, even if it has taken me 40 years to do so! The next article relates to the following day, when I took a trip up to London, but that will have to wait until next time.